5 Common Phrases That Ruin First Impressions

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Charisma on Command

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The first impressions that you make often hinge on the smallest of things. It can be a gesticulation or a choice of words. Your first impressions snap into place in just seven seconds. These judgments are influenced by a number of factors. Choosing the right things to say and do will affect your relationship with the person you are meeting with in a big way.
In this video, I want to share 5 phrases I hear all the time that can destroy your charisma. I will also give you some things that you can say instead, so that you can continue to make amazing first impressions, and become your most confident, charismatic self in the moments that matter the most!

0:23 - Phrase #1: ”Sorry for taking your time”
1:45 - Phrase #2: “Fine”
3:03 - Phrase #3: “Hey…”
4:06 - Phrase #4: “Nice to see you”
5:07 - Phrase #5: “Can I buy you a drink/coffee?”
#FirstImpression #CharismaOnCommand #SelfDevelopment
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PriusRaj 2 цагийн өмнө
Being honest about why you're not fine is probably a mistake if it's anything worse than spilling coffee on yourself or something. No one wants to hear you're worried your siblings might get taken away by CPS, or that you are down in the dumps because your dad said if you were born in India you'd be too ugly to be married to anyone but an abusive person who would beat you up all the time, your roommate just quit medical school because Covid made her lose the job that let her afford it, you had a miscarriage, your mom died, or because you're worried your best friend is disgusted by you, etc. People only want positive responses to "how are you" which is why I hate that phrase, and never use it. And whenever I actually do have a good day I go way into detail about why it's great and watch them get alarmed because they didn't actually care and now they have to fake interest and also feel guilty for asking. And yet, I will start saying "I'm alright" instead of "I'm fine" because 1) it's different 2) I'm not actually fine, but I will be all right and 3) solid is a damn lie, I'm a shaky wreck.
Phuc Hu
Phuc Hu 13 цагийн өмнө
1) I agree that preemptive apologies make people sound insecure and/or manipulative, however "I appreciate you making time" while sounding more confident still sounds manipulative. If the meeting is mandatory and was known of by the attendees ahead of time, no thanks or apology is necessary. Otherwise a simple "Thanks for your time" will suffice without making you sound like a salesman. 2) Saying "I'm solid" sounds really immature. I'll stick with "I'm fine". 3) Asking silly questions like "How do you all know each other?" is just going to get you blank looks and blown off as fake or as a weirdo. It's better to ask genuine questions or start off the conversation by telling a joke, using yourself as the butt of the joke. 4) If you can't remember meeting someone or their name, then simply tell them so. Only an incredibly insecure person would take offence to that. Honesty is the best policy and people will appreciate yours. 5) If you're taking offence to someone offering to buy you a drink, then you've got problems. If someone simply buys you a drink without asking you (and they aren't a friend), that's quite pretentious of them. If one wants to buy someone else a drink, then they ask. If that person doesn't want it, they decline. Simple and honest.
Bill Өдрийн өмнө
I've always used chat over a cup of coffee. Whether it be social or work, it always works a treat.
Mike Norris
Mike Norris 2 өдрийн өмнө
The thing that stuck out with me was the use of the word fine. Been a personal pev since the 80's...(in my 20's then).... "How are you?" "Fine. You?"... BS! GOTDANGIT YOU'RE NOT "FINE"! I gotdang know you're not fine because...gotdangit!...almost always none of us are! "Fine"...really? You're effing fine? Doubt it! I get that it was the "polite" and expected response but just damn i knew it wasn't true. Got to a point I just couldn't say it...had to be more honest even though I knew the efn question wasn't even sincere...just peeps being polite, (then later efn PC which is even more disingenuous!). So just started answering the "Hey, how are you?" with; "I'm complex. How are you?" Years later i decided to politely lie again and just told everyone I was fabulous. This went over bettet..🙄
Age of Reason
Age of Reason 2 өдрийн өмнө
I don't leave the house.
fenestrationpro 2 өдрийн өмнө
Wearing a mask. What is your cold open?
Barthvader Halloween
Barthvader Halloween 2 өдрийн өмнө
This comment section is pure gold.
Bertallica 3 өдрийн өмнө
subliminal ad at 6:44
Tinfoilhatnutcase One
Tinfoilhatnutcase One 4 өдрийн өмнө
You should do a video on Dunning Kruger and how millennials are no different than the rest of us, when we were in our 20s we thought we knew everything and all of the adults around us knew we were wrong.
Derek Armitage
Derek Armitage 4 өдрийн өмнө
I just call like it is. If my day is going great, I'll say "great". If my day is average I'll say "average". If my day is is terrible "I'll say "terrible". What really annoys me is when people like this commentator and many people I've met try to put on a facade .
Susan Yabe
Susan Yabe 5 өдрийн өмнө
Did anyone else see that subliminal nike symbol
Charlie Hooker
Charlie Hooker 5 өдрийн өмнө
I’m so tired of hearing people say “amazing “.
David Dionísio
David Dionísio 6 өдрийн өмнө
Fun fact: "CU" (from Charisma University" is a slur for "butt" in Portuguese.
Boro Jugovic
Boro Jugovic 6 өдрийн өмнө
I love this channel but my targeted ads on every video are dating apps and flirting videos.
Hung Ram
Hung Ram 7 өдрийн өмнө
This dude has more porcelain then a men's room.
L Faker son
L Faker son 7 өдрийн өмнө
Can we just acknowledge this is one take?! That means no bs and he’s being genuine (and he’s really good at this)
Wibble Clarke
Wibble Clarke 8 өдрийн өмнө
OMG "Nice to see you" how awkward do I feel when someone I don't know says this to me!
Manny Dee
Manny Dee 8 өдрийн өмнө
there is no such thing as 'your time' or 'my time'. time is not owned by any human being. time owns us. i'm not sold on the 'dont use fine' tip 'hey how are you!' is also one of the most used phrases in this world. and ?
Hook Hook
Hook Hook 9 өдрийн өмнө
The 2d Question, or better the Answer to the 2nd Question wont ever come up to my mind if I am not feeling well. I reask if the person who asked want to get a straight answer and really care or is it just small talk. I know, they dont feel very comfortable about it, but that is the way I am . I dont like the potemkin villages where it is shown that everything is fine, but its all fake. If I am feeling having a crappy day, I want to say it - at least if I am asked about my day. And it is not about whining, its about being honest. It doenst mean that I cant be good at my job etc. Hope you know what I mean.
Spencer LeBlanc
Spencer LeBlanc 9 өдрийн өмнө
"If you're gonna say hey, at least add anything to it" Me: "Hey... i like trains"
CalLadyQED 10 өдрийн өмнө
Sorry, #2 might make an impression, but it's annoying. Try the proper response, "I am well, thank you." Then actually naturally extend that into a short (!) exchange about yourself or the other person. For example, "I was admiring your necklace. It makes the outfit."
James2:19 10 өдрийн өмнө
What a crock! These shallow people who are not human enough to give the time to know another human is insincere, can view the south end of my north bound side.
Mark Fennell
Mark Fennell 11 өдрийн өмнө
I think I disagree with all of these. These phrases are all legitimate
OPSEC 12 өдрийн өмнө
are you an incel?
OPSEC 12 өдрийн өмнө
Lol first impression when someone uses a word like Gesticulation to try to sound smarter than they are. oh the juxtaposition of it all.
Crimson 13 өдрийн өмнө
- How are you? - Im doing awful.
Somerandomguy 17 өдрийн өмнө
What about instead of “can I buy you a drink?” simply “what would you like to drink?”
あなたの はは
あなたの はは 17 өдрийн өмнө
Talking with your hands too much. Comes across as forced in this video. Great advice overall though.
Doua Thao
Doua Thao 17 өдрийн өмнө
I always answer the "how are you doing?" With "living the dream" sarcastically ofc and it works really well showing people what kind of personality you have. I'm quite reserved, but I do know how to socialize when I need to. Many times I find I attract too much attention it gets tiring sometimes, but through the years it's gotten easier to be less reserved. The trick is simply to be yourself and not care if any one person will not like you.
Jason Heart
Jason Heart 17 өдрийн өмнө
Have you ever noticed when someone says they are fine there is always something negative going on in their life? when people say their fine, their really saying their not ok. Fine stands for Freaked out, insecure,neurotic and emotional
Minecraft Steve
Minecraft Steve 18 өдрийн өмнө
Why is his mouth so huge?
thevoxdeus 18 өдрийн өмнө
Ive never seen or heard anyone say "sorry for taking your time." I've heard and even said "sorry to bother you, but..." and I've said " thank you for giving me some time today."
one wonders
one wonders 18 өдрийн өмнө
A good friend of mine has a great response to people asking how are you. He’s in his 60’s and he’s British, so it sounds even better coming from him, but the response is “I’m vertical” - and I think this pretty much works for anyone any time as long as you say in a way that doesn’t sound like an innuendo lol.
Mark Jones
Mark Jones 21 өдрийн өмнө
Wow, you call it charisma - I call it banality. Do you have a brain or just a tongue like a drunken parrot? Typical HR style loser filled with piffle and puke.
Mz JJ 22 өдрийн өмнө
Girls will understand this one: F - Forgotten I - Insecure N - Not good enough E - Empty It made me want to cry when i first read this(it was someone else's comment.)
Max Cotter-Hope
Max Cotter-Hope 22 өдрийн өмнө
Enthusiast 25 өдрийн өмнө
The comment section will help you make better first impressions... lol.
q7winq7 26 өдрийн өмнө
11-1-2020 - - - - Can't listen to this guy with him waving his hands all over the place.
Maurice drew
Maurice drew 27 өдрийн өмнө
I would appreciate your honestly and decency here!
themadwizard 27 өдрийн өмнө
I usually respond to "How are you?" with "I am well." What's an upgrade for that?
john gunning
john gunning Сарын өмнө
Should be, "5 Common phrases that Americans use that ruin first impressions".
Tadgh Smith
Tadgh Smith Сарын өмнө
“Hi, You’re going to hate me for this...” “But I already do.”
Ballsdeep Singh
Ballsdeep Singh Сарын өмнө
Try to say their name at least 3 times.
Shadowfax Productions
Shadowfax Productions Сарын өмнө
Love these videos. Who is watching ? Lets support our oages
tlaqjr Сарын өмнө
No problem when I hear that I want to punch the person
Jay Volner
Jay Volner Сарын өмнө
This guys like 15? Wise guru is he?
Sarah Pryor
Sarah Pryor Сарын өмнө
I am extraordinarily bad at recognizing people by face. When I was in sales I always made it a joke. I’d tell clients when they come back to see me I’m 100% not going to remember them, but as soon as they tell me their name I’d remember their life story. They thought it was funny and definitely helped the next time we saw each other.
Graciela Montano
Graciela Montano Сарын өмнө
I have NEVER thought of someone wanting to "buy" my time when they're offering to buy me a drink or lunch or anything. My first thought is this person is interested in you (or whoever) and wants to get to know more about you. But, you know, everybody's different. These tips aren't going to work for everybody as a lot of the things he says to say or do, had someone gone about it this way they would come off as incredibly phony to me and make me either suspicious of them or just flat out dismissive because they appear to be a psychopath who learned how mimic human behavior from a MNpost video. Wait...I'm sensing a pattern
J0K3RN Сарын өмнө
I always make horrible first impressions when say, a new student starts in school and I become one of the few people they trust the most by time.
Paul Action
Paul Action Сарын өмнө
As a tradesman if I can't make an appointment that's all I tell them, and if I'm late I tell them I'm running late with no excuses no white lies people don't care why.
M2 Сарын өмнө
Somehow, answering, "I'm excellent" or "I'm amazing" to the question, "How are you today?" sounds juvenile and egocentric. How about "I am doing well, thank you for asking."
Chris Ishida
Chris Ishida Сарын өмнө
thank u bro that video was dope
Neo Smith
Neo Smith Сарын өмнө
Whoo social brainwashing FOH!!
GamerPoets Сарын өмнө
These days I feel less solid and more squishy. Time for a walk.
DXT61 Сарын өмнө
I just used the " you look familiar, have we met before" ...my wife wasn't amused.
Dominica Gerard
Dominica Gerard Сарын өмнө
People should stop asking people they don't know "How are you/How are you doing?" It's such a bad question to strangers, they don't want to know the real answer they just want to say something without committing.
fifi kukinu
fifi kukinu Сарын өмнө
Love i t bro 🔥
Stumpy1 Сарын өмнө
My go to when someone asks how I am is, "short and ugly, but doing the best I can with what I got."
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris Сарын өмнө
Okay guys I need to appear absolutely mad. I am quite good at it but I need some more inspiration.
6:44 down&left
Chris King
Chris King Сарын өмнө
gotta say... I did the "sorry" thing for 20 years... and life started improving at work almost instantly when I managed to quit the habit.
Pumpkin Face
Pumpkin Face Сарын өмнө
What if the gold digging bar wench asks (or demands): "Hey, you should buy ME a drink"
Justin Martyr
Justin Martyr Сарын өмнө
*I Hate the Question, HOW ARE YOU TODAY?????* *Many Times I say, My Hymroids are Giving me TrouBLe!!! Wanna Hear About it???*
Harry Michael
Harry Michael Сарын өмнө
Hello this is my first impression
histakes12 Сарын өмнө
I saw what you just did.
Youp_ Dijk
Youp_ Dijk Сарын өмнө
I asked my father if we'd met before and now I'm homeless
Kyle K
Kyle K Сарын өмнө
Me: “What up ho?” Beautiful woman passing by: “Omg, what a unique way to inquire about my well being. This guy is obviously a true gentleman. I must marry him immediately.” Trust me, this totally works! At least once every 9,751 times. In todays dating scene, those are some damned good odds.
Kyle K
Kyle K Сарын өмнө
Rune M You’re right! I never even thought of that. It would be much more time efficient. I’m putting it into immediate practice!
Rune M
Rune M Сарын өмнө
To be more efficient and reach 11457 women in the same amount of time yo ucould also go with "Sup ho" or even "sup'o".
web2yt Сарын өмнө
Don't say solid. You will come across as a try hard.
Alexandra Grassi
Alexandra Grassi Сарын өмнө
Here in Philippines, this is useless. First impressions are built from other people's judgments.
yourangryuncle Сарын өмнө
I went in with my instagram username once and that was the fastest I ever got a follower
Christine H
Christine H Сарын өмнө
This video came up in my feed. I am curious about your background. What do you base your advice on? Any specific training or education other than life itself?
Eric Grosch
Eric Grosch 2 сарын өмнө
A cool response to an enquiry about how one feels is: "I am as well as can be expected in the circumstances." That indicates a line of conversation, such as, "To what circumstances are you referring?"
olusegun adeleye
olusegun adeleye 2 сарын өмнө
no 1 kinda smh
Jordan Moller
Jordan Moller 2 сарын өмнө
Often the phrase "Can I buy you a cup of coffee" occurs in an environment where the coffee on offer is actually free, like in an office break room. There, the context is different, and the meaning of that phrase then becomes "Let's stop by the coffee station first, but I'd like to have a word with you."
SyncKronysyti 2 сарын өмнө
Just a small point I wanna bring up, but I personally don't really agree with the "just buy them a cup of coffee, don't ask" statement near the end. Some people aren't comfortable with getting monetary 'favours' like that from someone they don't know well, and it might even make them feel uneasy because now they feel like they need to return the favour or that they owe the person something. If you two have already decided to spend time together and you want to get them a drink while you're out together, just ask to make sure they're ok with it and don't push it if they say no!
carl hawkins
carl hawkins 2 сарын өмнө
lol oh, for the love of god. seriously? and how old is this kid? lol just kidding, knock yourself out, kid :)
Michael Wall
Michael Wall 2 сарын өмнө
Director: Hey, how are you doing? Me: Why? I'm now in senior management.
Guy Harris
Guy Harris 2 сарын өмнө
I used to have a friend when asked how he was would respond. "I'm fair to middlen better been worse" Usually with a smile on his face.
Travis Shan
Travis Shan 2 сарын өмнө
Let me add this... especially for the new generation... QUIT SAYING UH AND UM BEFORE EVERY GODDAMN SENTENCE. You sound like a moron with dribble on your chin. I utterly despise it. I own a restaurant and will not hire people who do this in interviews just because of the fact that if they have to UH and UM their way through a convo, I don't want to be around them all day. Know what you're saying. I agree with the rest of those on this list.
Wendy 1967
Wendy 1967 2 сарын өмнө
It helps to use mental visuals to remember a persons name. For instance, a co workers name is Angel. Picture her with wings and a halo and it will be easy to remember. One of my co workers name is Ronald. I mistakenly called him Donald (which ticked him off) . I hated to use the visual of him in a Ronald McDonald outfit, but it helped me remember his name is Ronald, not Donald. Brittany, (imagine her singing Oops I did it again, wearning a schoolgirl outfit), Mark (a big splotch). Jim (a slim jim snack sausage with his face. I know it sounds absurd, but it works...and can be amusing.
John Doe
John Doe 2 сарын өмнө
Boss: Welcome to this job interview, my name is "future boss". Nice to meet you. Me: I only have a few minutes!
A C 2 сарын өмнө
Prior to 2020...Hugs, handshakes & lack of personal hygiene Paranoia 2020 - 😨 Stay your distance, I don't want your Germs. Do you have 😷 CV???? Legend has it...Personal hygiene is still secondary
Andrew_Owens 2 сарын өмнө
I wear a mask and avoid all one-on-one contact and socialization so that, eight or nine months from now I can hear the survivors complain about their massive medical bills or members of their family that died. And that is my key to success.
Charlo Rivard
Charlo Rivard 2 сарын өмнө
Hey how you doing? Succulent!
T M 2 сарын өмнө
This assumes you WANT to talk to someone. Otherwise you're going to get short answers.
Black dragon story
Black dragon story 2 сарын өмнө
A lot of the times I am in those weird situations where a person comes to me and wants to have a conversation but we just dont really share the same goals and it's really we are quite different and live different lives. Classic introvert vs extrovert situation. I dont got out pretty much at all,it's not my thing and they only know about going out and other extrovert type activities. So yea sometimes we would have a common thing that happens like an event which results in a small chat but a lot of the times it's just an awkard silence after the initial approach of the person. I probably could somehow direct the conversation to whatever topic I am versed in,but I am just not really interested in talking since we are at work. Maybe I am just pushing people away idk.
Kenneth Ibuna
Kenneth Ibuna 2 сарын өмнө
Me: Saw ths video Me again: click faster that the speed of light
Batoasta 2 сарын өмнө
The more I look at his face, the more I notice he has a reallllly big mouth
Denis Allworden
Denis Allworden 2 сарын өмнө
How are you? I can't complain!... nobody will listen! The usual response I get is Yea, Know the feeling
TheWebStylist 2 сарын өмнө
I’m a new SOLID fan of your channel and life forward tips! 🙌🏻⚡️💪🏻💥💯✌🏻
Carryn Welde
Carryn Welde 2 сарын өмнө
How do I explain myself in a word other than fine? I don't really care about explaining how I feel at the moment. Usually meaning I'm fine. I'm not great, but I'm not bad either. Just fine.
Ken Q
Ken Q 2 сарын өмнө
Hey, How 'bout that local sports team ?
Akankshya Barua
Akankshya Barua 2 сарын өмнө
1.2 M people will not say fine no more
LemònBôî 2 сарын өмнө
Title: 5 phrases that ruins your first impression dude wtf your video is 8 minutes lobd
Alessandra Fredriksson
Alessandra Fredriksson 2 сарын өмнө
This guy has the widest mouth I’ve ever seen.
Tim Gomolka
Tim Gomolka 2 сарын өмнө
If everyone starts replying with "I'm amazing/fantastic/excellent", then a) those words lose their meaning; b) people think you're showing off; and c) some people you meet may be having a tough time with something and hearing someone say "I'm amazing" could cause them to feel a bit down. Saying "I'm fine" is neutral. If saying "Nice to see you" to everyone is being insincere, then it doesn't matter what you replace it with because you are still being insincere. Isn't it a bit cynical to think that everyone who wants to buy you a cup of coffee etc. is wanting something from you?
Jesica Mercado
Jesica Mercado 3 сарын өмнө
I always say I’m awsome, how about yourself.
elli003 3 сарын өмнө
Stop saying ..............'No Problem'. Replace with ................. 'My Pleasure' or 'Thank You'.
El Patron
El Patron 3 сарын өмнө
Girl : hey enjoy your food Me: thank you , you too
chronome 3 сарын өмнө
When you're buying something for new people, how do u know if they gonna like it or not since you don't ask them first?
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