How To Argue With Someone Who Won’t Listen

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Charisma on Command

3 сарын өмнө

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It seems to be harder than ever to get through to people logically.
In fact, some of the smartest people have the most sophisticated psychological booby traps when it comes to heated subjects. So in this video, we're going to break down why sometimes people won’t listen to reason even when they’re smart, and what techniques you can use to finally get through to someone who can’t listen to reason.

Our video on Steven Crowder:
Our video on Trevor Noah

0:00 - Intro.
2:12 - #1: Being stunned by new information.
3:01 - #2: Inaccurately summarizing the other's perspective.
4:01 - #3: Misreading nefarious intent.
4:41 - #4: Regularly moving goalposts.
5:35 - #5: Yelling or getting angry.
6:12 - #6: Attacking someone's character.
6:34 - #7: Retreating Without Concession
8:05 - 3 Key Mindsets To Change Their Mind
9:05 - The Most Dangerous Cognitive Dissonance

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Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand
Or if you want to see our personal stuff:
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

AlbinoZebra27 5 минутын өмнө
Oh no Charisma is right wing 🤢
Kevin Sheldrick
Kevin Sheldrick 3 цагийн өмнө
Cognitive dissonance: "the classic example is someone who smokes, knows that smoking kills, yet says they want to live a long, healthy life". If Jeanne Calment, who supposedly died at age 122 and smoked for 96 years (though not heavilly) had only had the chance to see this video and change her ways, she might not have had her life terminated so prematurely :(
Beltus benz
Beltus benz 10 цагийн өмнө
E C 13 цагийн өмнө
watching this for the third time this time im high and wow I needed
Christopher Harper
Christopher Harper 17 цагийн өмнө
Ben Shapiro looks like a demon that has to CONSTANTLY concentrate to keep his human appearance! 👿👿👿👿👿
Michael O
Michael O 18 цагийн өмнө
Well said. In this crazy political climate, your discussion on cognitive dissonance is spot on. Main takeaway is that we're not trying to "win" arguments, we're trying to discuss and grow together as people.
Gerald Nykamp
Gerald Nykamp 19 цагийн өмнө
Self reflection is really key here. Asking yourself, "what did I do to make the argument or situation worse" is very hard to do, that is how you grow as an individual.
Heathen That Heretic
Heathen That Heretic 23 цагийн өмнө
I've learned that most people who believe in outlandish things usually don't respond well to logic or reasoning so I bring up other things that are just as crazy as their own thoughts. By far the worse are those who suffer from the "Dunning Kruger effect ". I just simply walk away at that point
Nyle Haywood
Nyle Haywood 23 цагийн өмнө
SpaceChemSol Өдрийн өмнө
The actual answer is: You dont. In all the examples provided in the video nothing actually changed when using the "right" tactics.
Chaz Cuarto
Chaz Cuarto 2 өдрийн өмнө
man says he is going to offend people but than says he doesn't want to provoke anyone lol
Notyouagain 2 өдрийн өмнө
Changing people’s beliefs to control their actions is not possible. That’s why governments RULE Thru fear of death by gun and by cage - and not with empathetic disarming words . That speaking part is just for entertainment and marketing.
mary rose
mary rose 2 өдрийн өмнө
You said 'mind-reading' instead of misreading: The third thing. Found that interesting.
Zullu Balti
Zullu Balti 2 өдрийн өмнө
Zullu Balti
Zullu Balti 2 өдрийн өмнө
These 10 mins videos aren't gonna help me We need I need full training
McconnellRet 2 өдрийн өмнө
Charisma on Command confirmed based and redpilled?
Matthew Clarke
Matthew Clarke 2 өдрийн өмнө
It all comes back to the ego.
HighLanderPony 2 өдрийн өмнө
No, you're wrong! *Reeeeee*
Geoffrey Tuiloma
Geoffrey Tuiloma 2 өдрийн өмнө
Religious nuts: argument Normal people: harassment
robert mccully
robert mccully 2 өдрийн өмнө
I have done this in my life,, stop in the middle of and argument and say something like did you just see that bird fly bye.. They will stop and say what bird, or something like that. Change the subject for a while to calm it down.
WNC Baby Lady
WNC Baby Lady 2 өдрийн өмнө
Mindreading and Misreading are 2 different things. ???
Ken Christie
Ken Christie 3 өдрийн өмнө
Stop using logic. That's no problem for Shapiro.
Archeon Wanlorn
Archeon Wanlorn 3 өдрийн өмнө
Not everyone is good at debate or discussion though. You could be having an argument as to why 2+2=4 with someone who is just superior at word play and mind fuckery that keeps implying 2+2 does not equal 4. When you cant convince the person or feel you are losing the argument panic and anger also set in despite the lack of cognitive dissonance. So interesting video... but also very myopic
sean quinn
sean quinn 3 өдрийн өмнө
Good video, but it’d have been really useful and consistent to see how Žižek penetrated Peterson’s cognitive dissonance too.
Koushik Bar
Koushik Bar 3 өдрийн өмнө
should have given some example for jordon playing cathy newman in debate with matt,
hadin apokalix
hadin apokalix 3 өдрийн өмнө
i think people who cant see the light are just liars they live their entire life in a lie they love the lie you can never get to a person like that im sure satan in heaven at one point started to really believe and love his lies to the point, it became his own truth jesus said satan spoke from his own resources meaning from his own fantasies of what he wanted to be true and no amount of logic even from god almighty could get him to change his mind these people who reject the truth no matter how much evidence is presented are just like the devil
Agoraphobic Adam
Agoraphobic Adam 3 өдрийн өмнө
2+2=4 So what your saying, Is 5-1=4.
Genuine Coconut
Genuine Coconut 3 өдрийн өмнө
Sorry but you sound very ill informed , sounds like one is flapping there gums
crazy duck
crazy duck 3 өдрийн өмнө
Isis and Islam are different isis and islamaphobess are cults
crazy duck
crazy duck 3 өдрийн өмнө
Isis and islamaphobess are both bad it just islamaphobess a bit more bad I don't surport either of these sides
Geegee bosley
Geegee bosley 2 өдрийн өмнө
Islamaphoes are worse? how?!?! 1 is cutting peoples heads off and murdering innocents... the other writes mean things on the internet.
crazy duck
crazy duck 3 өдрийн өмнө
I have respect for your a least you don't critize Islam for no reason I subscribed
Scott Kelley
Scott Kelley 3 өдрийн өмнө
To those who always claim they are the most open-minded individuals, my definition of open mindedness is the ability to change one's beliefs when presented with new information... which most people refuse to do
SciFi Bri
SciFi Bri 3 өдрийн өмнө
How can anyone argue with or reach someone who actually believes Michele Obama is a man and the Earth is flat and Democrat lawmakers are part of a Satanic baby eating cult? Somehow I doubt cracking a joke in the middle of presenting your side is going to work.
Jessie Dana
Jessie Dana 4 өдрийн өмнө
I really like the way that Jordan handled himself in this interview, he showed a lot of depth and strength of character.
G Montag
G Montag 4 өдрийн өмнө
There are several clips used in this video that don’t fit into the context the creator presents them as being.
Moyo Mongoose
Moyo Mongoose 4 өдрийн өмнө
A good way to make someone listen is holler through a megaphone. Simply talk loudly at them.
Giorgi Goglidze
Giorgi Goglidze 4 өдрийн өмнө
8:10 that was a really bad example. Jordan did not won him over when the student said "ok", in this context, when the student said ok, it was like saying "well, not a big deal, no difference between what I said about you and your remark" and it is the reason why Jordan got angry.
Mi mo
Mi mo 4 өдрийн өмнө
Peterson: HA! GOT YA!
Chase Nuuhiwa
Chase Nuuhiwa 4 өдрийн өмнө
Cathy Newman didn't do that technique voluntarily. She just got stumped because she had no valid argument. She was attacking the entire interview and lost steam.
Tony Stark
Tony Stark 4 өдрийн өмнө
In this generation it's about how you can make them feel
Cameron Roman
Cameron Roman 4 өдрийн өмнө
Funny stuff
Boosted226 4 өдрийн өмнө
ben dosent say anything we dont already know lol controlled opo imo
That One Guy
That One Guy 4 өдрийн өмнө
Retitle to how to convert theists to atheist
Chad Radwell
Chad Radwell 4 өдрийн өмнө
Its like snowflake raport, single mothers child trying to explain himself there will be no conflict, safety, just do 3 points = peace = me being a pu8*y
Bayedge 4 өдрийн өмнө
Great video. However I do disagree with his last comments. Unfortunately quite a few politicians exhibit cognitive dissonance. I’m not gonna name names (cause there are too many) but they are becoming quite successful.
Harry Chung
Harry Chung 4 өдрийн өмнө
This channel: Don't act superior when your arguments win Me: *Signature look of superiority*
Effin & Jeffin
Effin & Jeffin 5 өдрийн өмнө
Crack a good joke or fart...whatever you have to work with...
Gil Magadia
Gil Magadia 5 өдрийн өмнө
Just don't argue if necessary. I learned the hard way that however good intent you have, reasoning with some people will never work. When I get a discussion with someone who reasons with emotions instead of logic l, I just say "let's agree to disagree". Emotional reasoning leads to manipulation and even gas lighting just to make them have the last word.
Geegee bosley
Geegee bosley 2 өдрийн өмнө
It's funny because I usually see those who only rely on emotion use that EXACT excuse to dismiss and run away from dealing with statistical fact with citations.
Snook On the fly
Snook On the fly 5 өдрийн өмнө
There is even a series of commercials being played that talk about it being your job to defy logic
King Freddy
King Freddy 5 өдрийн өмнө
Im Smoking, i know its dangerous and i wanna die early. Ha im perfectly logic
chili taco & hot nacho review
chili taco & hot nacho review 5 өдрийн өмнө
you shouldve made this video when i was in fifth grade
Else F
Else F 5 өдрийн өмнө
Why is Jordan Peterson always held up like a beacon? He litterally blurted out “gotcha!” at the interviewer.
Mike P.
Mike P. 5 өдрийн өмнө
Given that you are right, you can actually project where the discussion is heading. I have no intend to listen to others when they yell and call me names. When this happens I instantly know that I have to do with a religiously fanatic persons and that I have to double down on their aggressiveness with a strong argument. Don't let anyone bully you in the effort of trying to convince him about anything.
GTgroup 5 өдрийн өмнө
Cathy never admitted that she was wrong. Check peterson vid after cathy interview. She even said bad things about peterson hours later via twitter.
Marko Ezefeld
Marko Ezefeld 5 өдрийн өмнө
I think you have a compelling argument for us all here. Thanks for giving the time to share.
Equatiks 5 өдрийн өмнө
i have friends who just go no your wrong i dont care about your info your wrong i dont care if 50 people disagree with me your wrong
Wolfenscheid 5 өдрийн өмнө
I watched the whole Andrew Neil interview and I agree 100% with Ben leaving. I would have left much earlier. Andrew's questions did not seem to be in good faith at all.
Old Man
Old Man 5 өдрийн өмнө
I think you Retreat Without Concessions just by stating obvious logic. The buddha spent a lifetime learning that he doesn't know what he doesn't know. it seemed to feel good to be good instead of bad to be bad and he never had to know just where it led. If the devil Loved his Family, and God is Love, did THE DEVIL become GOD? he (The Buddha) tried to tread carefully because he did not know the answers. Thank You Mr. Peterson. You became a father to me by making GOOD youtube lectures. If I had a LIFETIME to write ONE DAMN MNpost COMMENT... i'd have said (feel the pause) thank you... to my father... when he had cancer :( I believe he would have been HAPPY to suffer if it taught me to tread carefully. I learned recently not to question if fathers love their sons. pretty damn risky. He gave me a gift that I hope to pass on. I can't tell whether I should capitalize that h or not. doesn't matter. I did have to fix the spelling on that damn word 'capitalize'.
ZyklonButterfly 5 өдрийн өмнө
I am really annoyed by Bill O'Reilly...
Saberrawk 5 өдрийн өмнө
But they "researched" it though! They looked it up using Google!!! How can somebody that uses the ultimate search engine be wrong? 🤣
Its Always Sunni In Fallujah
Its Always Sunni In Fallujah 5 өдрийн өмнө
This video doesn’t have enough commercial breaks.
Alex D.
Alex D. 5 өдрийн өмнө
Nobody will change their mind mid debate. The only chance of that happening will be on their own time.
Royalty 5 өдрийн өмнө
You don't. Let them die in their ignorance.
Aarcus Is Loading
Aarcus Is Loading 5 өдрийн өмнө
I won't watch this because I respect Jordan and think its time he let America implode already... Bunch of offended twats. hope he goes and enjoys time with his family and those who deserve his time. But in saying that I totally hope the answer is you get a lock and a sock and go to town.
Greg McKenzie
Greg McKenzie 5 өдрийн өмнө
Why argue at all? It is not an effective tool for social change. Cognitive dissonance is only one form of dissonance. Most of what happens in conversations is not verbal communication. It does not help to conflate "cognitive dissonance" into a personality syndrome.
Greg McKenzie
Greg McKenzie 4 өдрийн өмнө
@Reasonably Abnormal You can learn from arguing but it seldom causes others to change their views, only their arguments. Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling. To stop that feeling most of us change our thoughts, but not our core values. In a truly honest argument each person will need to open themselves to the possibility that they, themselves, are wrong and will need to change. This is where the important work occurs,...but it's not nearly as entertaining as, say, a public food fight.
Reasonably Abnormal
Reasonably Abnormal 5 өдрийн өмнө
So, no arguing? Debating? Have you ever learned something from another person by arguing or debating? I prefer respectful debate, ofc. Cognitive dissonance is a disorder, for sure. I typically see it when a topic is a scary thing to someone. It's rampant these days. I feel we've removed debate too much from our communications. We can always learn something from another intelligent mind. Arguing has taught me many lessons.
Douglas Pearch
Douglas Pearch 6 өдрийн өмнө
Most Americans don't realize capitalist democracy is an illusion and end up excusing the bigots - or maybe CoC is rightwing shill after all.
john john
john john 6 өдрийн өмнө
You cannot use an addiction stronger than heroin to argue your point
Douglas W
Douglas W 6 өдрийн өмнө
Amazing video and great examples used.
Adam Kubík
Adam Kubík 6 өдрийн өмнө
here you go for the best example /watch?v=fJhCjMfRndk
gokotta 6 өдрийн өмнө
Sometimes name-calling is a judgment call that's correct.😂
Bibi Brin
Bibi Brin 6 өдрийн өмнө
From my Muslim friends I found out that there is plenty of difference between them. Moderates, centrists, radicals... Just like in any other religion. I don't hear any heated debates of those...
Angel ofDeath1111
Angel ofDeath1111 6 өдрийн өмнө
oxygen is optional, o2, chest tubes? . .. . .. . .. .. .. . . . ... raid!
Angel ofDeath1111
Angel ofDeath1111 6 өдрийн өмнө
gray matters, a little bahhaha sheep
Angel ofDeath1111
Angel ofDeath1111 6 өдрийн өмнө
wiil iskaako
wiil iskaako 6 өдрийн өмнө
You talk about smoking while am smoking cigarettes as I watch which is weird
ScoPperlOit FinnimBrun
ScoPperlOit FinnimBrun 6 өдрийн өмнө
Cathy Newman isn't very smart!
Cody O'Connell
Cody O'Connell 6 өдрийн өмнө
Great video. You have a real talent for putting these kind of unspoken characteristics to words. Well done. I really wish America would embody and avoid these behaviors
thenonexistinghero 6 өдрийн өмнө
It is literally impossible to argue with someone if they have more authority than you. And there's really only 1 way to make change in that case... which is to resort to violence. It's also impossible to crack a joke that does not offend the other side if you're up against the modern leftists. They're offended by everyone and everything.
Jacob H
Jacob H 6 өдрийн өмнө
It’s impossible to reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into in the first place.
Daniel Netz
Daniel Netz 6 өдрийн өмнө
valuable stuff
ChickVicious237 6 өдрийн өмнө
I'm glad this video is so politically balanced. Feels genuine
Kwisclub TA
Kwisclub TA 6 өдрийн өмнө
"The state of having thoughts, actions, beliefs, or desires. That are inconsistent with one another." Why TF are these two separate sentences? I don't think I'll be taking advice on how to argue or use logic from someone who doesn't know how to use a period properly.
Keith Odom
Keith Odom 6 өдрийн өмнө
Thank you for the effort to put this together. Very well done and informative.
Yakaroni El Yak
Yakaroni El Yak 6 өдрийн өмнө
Poking holes in Ben Shapiro's commentary is my favorite past time
Giorgi Nemsitsveridze
Giorgi Nemsitsveridze 3 өдрийн өмнө
Just to feel good about yourself cause you know he's smarter than you and yet he's not a perfect man ? Good, now you discovered what you should've known anyway XD
M90 Rider
M90 Rider 7 өдрийн өмнө
Ben Shapiro was right about his loaded question.
Jeff Bogue
Jeff Bogue 7 өдрийн өмнө
But the two camps are not equally bad only one is and they want to erase God close churches murder unborn babies etc etc i can go on and on evil incarnate their called democrats and rino Republicans
Linh H Le
Linh H Le 7 өдрийн өмнө
smoking not kill, no reason here
Lucy Stephanie: Properties & More
Lucy Stephanie: Properties & More 7 өдрийн өмнө
So you have to make them laugh first. Good luck. Lol.
Joshua Bellve
Joshua Bellve 7 өдрийн өмнө
I found this incredibly informative and definitely learned a thing or two. However you say that once someone falls into the cognitive dissonance trap, stop arguing with logic and crack a joke. You then move on to the three steps after someone has changed their minds. At no point do you explain how to argue with cognitive dissonance. Could have been a lot shorter video, just saying don’t do it.
PostHawk 7 өдрийн өмнө
Downvote for the Andrew Neil portion: Neil had nefarious intent, and you can tell by the terribly biased framing of the question. I don't care if he calls himself a conservative, or right wing. The question was framed in a very biased manner, in the exact way the Left-wing American media asks questions.
Muhammad Syafiq
Muhammad Syafiq 7 өдрийн өмнө
This video shows it well how not to be a fool.
holyarchon 7 өдрийн өмнө
The thing with Ben Affleck is what I call virtue signaling. He gets a high off of saying something but not doing anything about it. In other words as you say his beliefs do not match his words.
grassroot011 7 өдрийн өмнө
Also never fight with a pig, you'll just get yourself dirty and besides, the pig likes it.
grassroot011 7 өдрийн өмнө
You can always tell a Narcissist , but you can't tell them much.
Cafe 7 өдрийн өмнө
punch them
HELLOH SAYTIN 7 өдрийн өмнө
I came here to learn how to talk to those trump supporters that talk about Qanon and Antifa, but this is about debating with intelligent people... apparently there is no hope for trump cultists.
Michael Schweigart
Michael Schweigart 7 өдрийн өмнө
For your next vid, could you give tips on how to take advantage of glitches in the matrix, please?
The Messenger
The Messenger 7 өдрийн өмнө
News flash.. Jordan Peterson is not what I would call a critical thinker. He may be highly intelligent however however he is a white wing thinker. Ben Affleck was simply frustrated with helping the other guy wake up and smell the coffee. People tend to think ONLY in terms of black and white and use emotion as logic. Jordan Peterson has not yet thought through how reality works. He is using self-serving narratives which tend to be constructs of the human ego. The ego has a desire for self-promotion at the expense of humanity.
mark wilding
mark wilding 7 өдрийн өмнө
Sometimes you can just enter verbal conflict with someone highly skilled at twisting your words and manipulating an argument.
Ava Arnett
Ava Arnett 7 өдрийн өмнө
If you need this to argue to your parents that don't listen to anything that you say. Fear not your not alone instead of using logic say this "Why do you think that this way is the correct way" or say "What made you think that way". Trust me DON'T USE LOGIC USE REASONING it help tremendously.
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