How To Stand Up For Yourself During Conflict

  Үзсэн тоо 217,879

Charisma on Command

29 өдрийн өмнө

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People can be hostile with a fake friendly demeanor. It becomes tricky to know whether to confront them or just smile through it.
That’s why In today’s video we’re covering a 4 step method you can use to stand up to rude, passive-aggressive behavior without being a jerk. We’ll be using a tense Robert Downey JR interview we covered in one of our first videos, but we thought an update with more concrete advice and visuals would be useful.

0:00 - Intro
0:21 - N: Nonverbally warn them to stop
2:21 - I: The indirect warning shot
3:31 - C: The callout
4:48 - E: Exit the situation
#RobertDowneyJR #CharismaOnCommand

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Jamie Woodhouse
Jamie Woodhouse Өдрийн өмнө
RDJ should have replied, “you don’t want to pry, what do you mean by that?” .... and just not shifted off that topic.
sridhar vaishnava
sridhar vaishnava 7 өдрийн өмнө
Please make a video on Cate Blanchett
Rojas D
Rojas D 8 өдрийн өмнө
Can you talk about Frank Underwood? He's a very interesting character, and personally I believe there is a great deal of things about him you could analyze
Ishmael Dixon
Ishmael Dixon 8 өдрийн өмнө
Your videos don't pop up on my home page any more,
Sabhiuddin jazeb
Sabhiuddin jazeb 9 өдрийн өмнө
I cant believe that these guys did not make a video on jhonny depp
theghett o
theghett o 10 өдрийн өмнө
my dad: **getting furious in the car with my mom to the point of screaming** me: sooooo, how about that trampoline i saw in the movie
Wispy T
Wispy T 7 өдрийн өмнө
This was sadly relatable.
Ben Erdelyi - Dating Coach
Ben Erdelyi - Dating Coach 10 өдрийн өмнө
Love these Iron Man breakdowns
Username ETC.
Username ETC. 10 өдрийн өмнө
That dude interviewing RDJ did that same thing to Tarantino about the violence in his movies. Dude goes into a press junket interview for a movie and acts like he's doing 60 Minutes and wants to get some deep introspective interview on people. Instead, he just comes across as a douche.
Ameer Aziz
Ameer Aziz 10 өдрийн өмнө
I often fight back with dodgy jokes 🥲
Agent EagleT
Agent EagleT 11 өдрийн өмнө
glossy winter
glossy winter 12 өдрийн өмнө
I wanted to request a video, can u make one on BTS's Jimin? I'm saying this from a non-fan presective but honestly he's one of the most likeable ppl I've seen and ppl around him usually tend to love him fan or not he just has this effect on ppl I'd like u to make a video on him
MasterTalk 12 өдрийн өмнө
Interesting perspective Glossy; thanks for sharing this video suggestion, I love BTS!
PRINCE_LC 12 өдрийн өмнө
Please breakdown the Tyson interview when promoting on live tv with the mayor.
MasterTalk 12 өдрийн өмнө
That's a cool suggestion Prince, thanks for sharing this with us!
Rod Katsumata Confidence Coach
Rod Katsumata Confidence Coach 13 өдрийн өмнө
Well explained method. Makes sense. Setting boundaries is important to develop self-confidence and self-esteem. And you can't go too far in your journey of self-development if you can tell people where the limits are. I saw this interview with Robert Downey JR before, and he knows who he is, what is up to, and how to manage the situation well. It's not without reason he plays the Iron Man really well.
Lisa Simpson
Lisa Simpson 13 өдрийн өмнө
Oh wow I've been doing it all wrong, apparently though I have no desire to change hahaha. When dragged into conflict, I tend to brazenly insult the one unfortunate enough to engage me in conflict. For example, when my husband's sister tried to convince him not to go after custody of his daughter because he's made mistakes in the past, I interjected and asked if she should not be allowed to live with her mom because of HER past mistakes (and said some of them out loud)...and incidentally because it was over the phone, it caused their mom to expose herself as being present in the room for the conversation after his sister said previously that she wasn't there. It was not appreciated and I do believe it made them not want to have that conversation with him ever again.
Lisa Simpson
Lisa Simpson 11 өдрийн өмнө
@MasterTalk Well I'm touched by how nice your comment is. I admit I'm a bit jealous at how masterfully Jon Stewart handles the opposition when he argues but I'm definitely touchy when it comes to defending my stance especially when it comes to those I love.
MasterTalk 12 өдрийн өмнө
Such a beautiful and thoughtful comment Lisa, thanks for sharing with us. I appreciate your openness to discuss, thanks for what you do for others.
tdrx y28z
tdrx y28z 14 өдрийн өмнө
that scrawny voice in the beggining of the video(can t go past 2 sec) which i assume is the author' certainly inspires a lot of safety and security and confrontational decisiviness haha i bet the testosterone is running through his glasses and online courses about "confidence" "how to be an alpha" "how to be attractive" etc etc
Lucendo 14 өдрийн өмнө
Yeah but this certainly doesn't work when people definitely will make fun of you if you call them out or exit.
canary 002
canary 002 14 өдрийн өмнө
Do it back suitability wach em loose it.
Jacob Mcjunkin
Jacob Mcjunkin 15 өдрийн өмнө
squa-squa the dragon
squa-squa the dragon 15 өдрийн өмнө
Who else is watching this before a family reunion a show oh hands ✋
Dr Alex Vasquez ICHNFM
Dr Alex Vasquez ICHNFM 15 өдрийн өмнө
Dethos 15 өдрийн өмнө
Leer, Scary Face... Hm
AYUSH KUMAR 15 өдрийн өмнө
You should make video on Indiana Jones.
Maria Mendes
Maria Mendes 16 өдрийн өмнө
You should do one on the queens gambit, it would be awesomeee
Emmett Burns
Emmett Burns 16 өдрийн өмнө
Can we get an analysis of Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series?
Pedophile 16 өдрийн өмнө
Thanks, I need this for dealing with trolls in the MNpost comment section.
Shreenath Gauda
Shreenath Gauda 13 өдрийн өмнө
SSJAlpha 16 өдрийн өмнө
If you need a video on how to stand up for yourself then you are a certified beta male.
DerMenschIstWeilEsGlaubtDassEsIst 16 өдрийн өмнө
i cant stand up for myself, my mommy comes and defends me in conflicts like a good mommy
cartoonclimax 16 өдрийн өмнө
Some situations call for the N.I.C.E. method, others call for a smack to face. It will depend on the situation.
lilmil 16 өдрийн өмнө
THIS DUDES COURSE IS FAKE. HE HAD ONE BEFORE BUT IT WAS A SCAN SO HE MADE A NEW ONE ALSO HE’S A MISOGYNIST!!! seriously though how do people not know this or do they not care......?
Fire Pitch
Fire Pitch 16 өдрийн өмнө
Why is he a mysoginist bud? Everyone is accused of being something these days
InkBytes 16 өдрийн өмнө
Love your content! 🤍
cameron ward
cameron ward 16 өдрийн өмнө
Could you do Tom Hardy please?
Epstein Didntkillhimself
Epstein Didntkillhimself 17 өдрийн өмнө
Punching people works too.
Nikolay Belorusov
Nikolay Belorusov 17 өдрийн өмнө
great vid
Nikolay Belorusov
Nikolay Belorusov 17 өдрийн өмнө
sometimes conflict is so much in your face simply ignoring the issue becomes impossible
Pavel Shirochkin
Pavel Shirochkin 17 өдрийн өмнө
I wish you could do some videos on “Ted Lasso” tv show. I think it is one of the best tv shows recently that explores themes of leadership and communication in workplace and life in general. Thanks for you work!
Hobbes120 17 өдрийн өмнө
I've been watching so many of these, feeling like I'm learning to be a normal person, but quarantine doesn't let me use what I learned from these videos.
Johannes Dolch
Johannes Dolch 17 өдрийн өмнө
Great Video. Could you link the Downey Video? (This whole interview seems like a "what not to do if you want to make friends")
Will Sr
Will Sr 17 өдрийн өмнө
I think he did come off as a bit of a jerk.
Fire Pitch
Fire Pitch 16 өдрийн өмнө
Saimah Patel
Saimah Patel 17 өдрийн өмнө
To be fair Robert had a right to exit this reporter was making him feel really uncomfortable and was asking about a time in his life he deeply regrets
Andrew Christianson
Andrew Christianson 18 өдрийн өмнө
Yep best to pay attention to the one you're speaking to ;)
Goan Gino
Goan Gino 18 өдрийн өмнө
This video is ideal. The community approves
Tayvex 18 өдрийн өмнө
Hey I know its odd but you should do a video on Corpse Husband and how he just seems to get everyone to simp for him lol
Methuselah Eisner
Methuselah Eisner 18 өдрийн өмнө
I've been inspired to make a brand new channel about vibration, thought, religion and spirit. I think you might be interested in this.
Mention 18 өдрийн өмнө
How would you amend those tips to apply to today's pandemic situation, which makes us increasingly work from home? There are sometimes passive-aggressive behaviors and remarks from co-workers in online meetings, and also in chats. Unfortunately, it is impossible to use step *1. Nonverbally warn them to stop*. Should one just jump to step 2? Or maybe handle that in a whole different way? Suggestion: a video about how to communicate effectively in an online environment (not only about how to handle passive-aggressiveness online) would be much appreciated!
Wimpie Baars
Wimpie Baars 18 өдрийн өмнө
To me this just looks like answering passive aggressive behavior with passive aggressive behavior. Why not just say clearly what you want instead of giving small signs. It might make the conversation awkward for a second or two but after that you can just move on.
Flusker 19 өдрийн өмнө
3:18 Let's say the person being rude responds with "Oh, well why is that an odd question?" in a condescending way. What would you do then? If I had to guess, I would say you exit at that point, but I'm not sure.
Flusker 5 өдрийн өмнө
@NeedASparkB4Fire Thanks for the reply that makes a lot of sense!
NeedASparkB4Fire 16 өдрийн өмнө
That is definitely a strategy you can move to, another is to respond in some fashion like, "It's an odd questions because I'm not sure what you are getting at, what is the purpose of that question." The other person could be naïve or not have great social skills or understanding in different circumstances. Depends on how much "benefit of the doubt" you want to give. Giving them a chance to reason out their question is another way to approach it. I'd say both, and other ways, are acceptable from my view.
Lotschi 19 өдрийн өмнө
Did you know there is a German channel with nearly the same content than yours? I just want to make sure they don‘t copy your channel. It‘s named Charisma auf Kommando. I just wondered because it‘s a really small channel and you never link them and they never link you! I think it would be important that they see this, so like maybe or post the same thing than i did!
App App
App App 19 өдрийн өмнө
How would these rules be used in a situation that’s isn’t an interview
Midship Sport
Midship Sport 19 өдрийн өмнө
@ 2:46 A n*gga is a n*gga 😂🤣😂🤣
Makaveli ii
Makaveli ii 19 өдрийн өмнө
Can you please do a video on Ivar the Boneless from Vikings! He’s a very interesting charismatic character.
Tanuke 19 өдрийн өмнө
can we please see a breakdown on dr phil - i think the argument style he uses is so interesting - maybe you'd think the same?
LunaticReason 19 өдрийн өмнө
As an introvert with anxiety I really appreciate these types of videos. When I was younger I really had a hard time talking to women and I still do at times. It wasn't until I started reading up on the pua community and how to pick up women that I gained some confidence with some degree of success the down side of that it was manipulative and disingenuous and for every women I had a good response with I didn't fully feel like myself, I felt like a fraud. I feel that this channel doesn't teach that though but rather confidence within your own skin. In terms of being charismatic I feel like I am totally two different people and I don't know what it is that brings out Mr. Charisma and wish I knew how to do it more but often I'm Mr. Shy and withdrawn because deep down I have my insecurities. Anyways on similar topic standing up for myself is something that I need to learn more of. I've had situations where I would meet a girl and we'd hit it off in a very flirtatious way but it ends up a jealous boyfriend or someone interested in her comes by and undermines me by completely putting me down or simply trying to assert dominance. Sometimes my defense to that is to joke along and be self deprecating and act as if it doesn't bother me or try to turn things back on them but deep down it's hard not to regress to that shy awkward kid when someone makes fun of a trait that I am really sensitive about. It's like the jock kicking sand in your face.
OrcaBob 27
OrcaBob 27 19 өдрийн өмнө
Here goes MNpost. Telling us how to act again.
Duran Leau
Duran Leau 19 өдрийн өмнө
I find often times a Jerk is a person who picks the low hanging fruit and also has a hard time telling the truth in a more nicer way, and the one being offended gives validity to it, he or she probably already felt that way prior the insult, being an easy target, but that is not how we treat people! The truth hurts but rudness and bullying is uncomparable. We have all heard some truths in the insults thrown at us along the way... but it's rudness we cannot tolerate. There are more constructive ways at telling the truth or helping someone than simply insulting him or her....
Sudarshan Roy
Sudarshan Roy 19 өдрийн өмнө
I'll watch this movie only and only for sunil grover. .
mesuper 2
mesuper 2 19 өдрийн өмнө
Do a Chrisjen Avasarala video!!!
AngieBelle 20 өдрийн өмнө
Pleaseee do a breakdown on Julie Andrews
Naoum Ranim
Naoum Ranim 20 өдрийн өмнө
Can you please do an analysis of the way Brian Greene the theoretical physicist speaks / debates? He has a way with words and intonations 🔥❤️
rofllmao 20 өдрийн өмнө
Brian Neary
Brian Neary 20 өдрийн өмнө
I agree with the C and the E, the rest is pointless catering to the ego. If I am wrong in calling someone out, I apologize. I don't confuse an already bottom situation by hoping they understand my indirect communication when I know they will quickly understand my direct communication far quicker.
Mario franitco Patrom sonda
Mario franitco Patrom sonda 21 өдрийн өмнө
please archi from riverdale
Mario franitco Patrom sonda
Mario franitco Patrom sonda 21 өдрийн өмнө
please Archi in Riverdale
Mario franitco Patrom sonda
Mario franitco Patrom sonda 21 өдрийн өмнө
please Archi in Riverdale
Mario franitco Patrom sonda
Mario franitco Patrom sonda 21 өдрийн өмнө
please Archi in Riverdale
Mario franitco Patrom sonda
Mario franitco Patrom sonda 21 өдрийн өмнө
please Archi in Riverdale
Mario franitco Patrom sonda
Mario franitco Patrom sonda 21 өдрийн өмнө
please Archi in Riverdale
Madhavi Krishnan
Madhavi Krishnan 21 өдрийн өмнө
This is just brilliant! Thank you for such a fantastic video!!! 🙏✨
yohenson 21 өдрийн өмнө
yeah you should do one where's family involved and you can't really back the hell up.
Undercover Warrior
Undercover Warrior 21 өдрийн өмнө
You sound like the kind of guy that can analyse all of this very well but doesn’t apply it all of it himself (talking about everything on the channel). However I won’t go farther then saying SOUND
Dal 21 өдрийн өмнө
Can you please do a video on Henry Cavill?
XGrand ChampX
XGrand ChampX 21 өдрийн өмнө
"Exit - remove yourself from the situation" Goodluck when it's your job lol. "Find another" not too easy. The most time pass I find toxicity, frustration, rudeness and blaming to more increasingly common.... Don't like it.
Man of the Galaxy
Man of the Galaxy 21 өдрийн өмнө
Thanks! Could you make a review of Ivar the Boneless. I have watched many your videos, and I wanna check my skills. Lots of thanks
Andrew J. Escalante
Andrew J. Escalante 22 өдрийн өмнө
Can someone further explain, or simplify the "inderect shot"? I am still confused about that one.
Einin 22 өдрийн өмнө
Can you make a video on Robert Sheehan?
Tuqueque 22 өдрийн өмнө
What do you think about “sarcasm” in text?
ask the Etruscans
ask the Etruscans 22 өдрийн өмнө
Exit is flight. Sometimes you have to fight. That was step one when I was younger, but I've learned better ways of handling myself. Even so, some just don't understand anything besides violent force, the other universal language (besides love).
Corey Pogue
Corey Pogue 22 өдрийн өмнө
How do you deal with passive aggressive parents? It a lot different then dealing with a boss or colleague, I can’t even do the non-verbal without them getting upset at me... RIP me
Totoro 22 өдрийн өмнө
I needed this, will use this to deal to any person trying to get under my skin
Seweenie 23 өдрийн өмнө
A piece on Elizabeth billies would be super entertaining
Amy Xoxo
Amy Xoxo 23 өдрийн өмнө
That interview gets more uncomfortable the more I see it
Yvonne Roberts
Yvonne Roberts 23 өдрийн өмнө
Perceive Believe
Perceive Believe 23 өдрийн өмнө
Know Thy Self/Re-Spect is always a good place to start.
Hank 23 өдрийн өмнө
This is so overly complicated and convoluted as to be basically unusable irl. All of these people shown as examples are behaving in situ and aren't enacting some pre-programmed ideal behavioural algorithm like the way this video advises. This video basically describes what certain people are doing but doesn't effectively advise what you should do. You will not remember these things in the moment. This is bollox.
Akbar Khalid
Akbar Khalid 23 өдрийн өмнө
What a useful, USEFUL, video! Thank you!
Addie Harmon
Addie Harmon 23 өдрийн өмнө
Thanks for the timestamps! Those were really nice (:
No-one Reedus
No-one Reedus 24 өдрийн өмнө
do Johnny Silverhand from Cyberpunk 2077? He is quite a fascinating character with strong charisma, leadership skills and confidence
dio sn
dio sn 24 өдрийн өмнө
A very good video!
Blijf Black
Blijf Black 24 өдрийн өмнө
Can you make a video about frank castle pleas
KingFunnyVibes 24 өдрийн өмнө
Make video of Neal Caffrey from White Collar
dreaminginnoother 24 өдрийн өмнө
Do you have any advice for people who try to thrust their opinions/advice on you? I have a good friend that I have stopped talking to because he is relentless with telling me what he thinks I should do and he is just wrong.
Typical Thamizhan
Typical Thamizhan 24 өдрийн өмнө
I got the crack for your charisma University course.. it's super gud TNX
plica06 24 өдрийн өмнө
One of this channels best ever videos. Resolving and preventing conflict through charisma and confidence. And video not too long.
Pramod Tagore
Pramod Tagore 24 өдрийн өмнө
Man,do one on Johnny depp
German Hans
German Hans 24 өдрийн өмнө
Most useful video ever
Matt 24 өдрийн өмнө
Amazing vid. Amazing timing! Happy new year!
Pop Punk Radio
Pop Punk Radio 25 өдрийн өмнө
N - Shout "NO!" at the person. I - "I DON'T LIKE THIS!" should follow C - "CU*T!" E - Escalate
Lac 14 цагийн өмнө
@ME * Well said.
ME *
ME * 7 өдрийн өмнө
Some times the other person main goal is to make sure you look very bad and angry and you would give him what he wants easily by doing this
DiamondComplex 8 өдрийн өмнө
hope that people knows the meaning xd
Username ETC.
Username ETC. 10 өдрийн өмнө
The Billy Butcher method
Egan White
Egan White 14 өдрийн өмнө
Finally, someone gets it
G. Smith
G. Smith 25 өдрийн өмнө
I'd say that nonverbal clues like looking away or showing desinterest can easily be interpreted as shyness, discomfort or "weakness". I don't see how that is good advice in borderline-abusive situations like these.
Ryan Stead
Ryan Stead 25 өдрийн өмнө
Yahhooo! this is epic Thanks Charlie
Lee Lorenz
Lee Lorenz 25 өдрийн өмнө
The thing is, that British journalist wasn't even being rude by British standards. Hes just digging deep. Downey handled that terribly. All he had to say was 'I'd rather not talk about my past or personal life.' American journalists syck celebrity c*ck.
Steph 25 өдрийн өмнө
Exit=something you need to do now with toxic friends, in-laws, relatives, etc. Say goodbye to them and end the drama.
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