How To Stand Up For Yourself During Conflict

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Charisma on Command

3 сарын өмнө

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People can be hostile with a fake friendly demeanor. It becomes tricky to know whether to confront them or just smile through it.
That’s why In today’s video we’re covering a 4 step method you can use to stand up to rude, passive-aggressive behavior without being a jerk. We’ll be using a tense Robert Downey JR interview we covered in one of our first videos, but we thought an update with more concrete advice and visuals would be useful.

0:00 - Intro
0:21 - N: Nonverbally warn them to stop
2:21 - I: The indirect warning shot
3:31 - C: The callout
4:48 - E: Exit the situation
#RobertDowneyJR #CharismaOnCommand

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yeetboi ty
yeetboi ty Өдрийн өмнө
1:51 “try, it’s never gonna work, go ahead” she was mad
Stephanie Hanley
Stephanie Hanley 12 өдрийн өмнө
I’ve been on both ends of this scenario. Sometimes you try to tell someone they’re doing something wrong but it comes out like belittling. I use to be made fun a lot in school and at home, so I developed the bad habit of just be mean before they’re mean to you. It’s definitely something I’m working on
Rachel Nicole
Rachel Nicole 13 өдрийн өмнө
Many Joaquin Phoenix interviews are also good examples of these points
Tara Timmerman
Tara Timmerman 19 өдрийн өмнө
Love this video! One of my favorite things about the last two decades in the 21st century is this shift toward the expectation of treating every individual with respect regardless. And how you have to respect yourself first. "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else!" - RuPaul
TRIBE OF MENTORS 19 өдрийн өмнө
Winners win because they are afraid of what might happen if they fail...TRIBE of MENTORS
RX Seven
RX Seven 27 өдрийн өмнө
Now i need to know how to apply this in virtual setting : business emails
Christiaan Funkhouser
Christiaan Funkhouser 28 өдрийн өмнө
Can we revisit the videos and everything afterwards? I.e. I buy it and I'll be able to re-visit it in a year etc?
Lewys Cousins
Lewys Cousins Сарын өмнө
*N:* _Nonverbal_ *I:* _Indirect warning shot_ *C:* _Callout_ *E:* *_Employ elbow block, attempt wild haymaker, discombobulate_*
V N Сарын өмнө
Be Calm, Clear and Firm.
Daritha100 Сарын өмнө
But how do you stand up for others?
C G Branco
C G Branco Сарын өмнө
In portuguese language, CU is a very interesting word...nevertheless, nice advice, thank you
Cat Sole
Cat Sole Сарын өмнө
Would you consider doing a version of this for email or social media? I feel like people are so much more passive-aggressive when they can't see the person they're talking to
lovetolovefairytales Сарын өмнө
My problem is I never did the E, even in my twenties, I would never be able to leave the conversation, not out of any desire to win (because I knew I wouldn't) but because I didn't want to be rude, I was afraid it would be sinking to the level of my debater who would then have something to use against me. In hindsight, so many times, I should have just left. All I had to do was say f the rain outside, f that I have to come home to this person later, and f that they are going to think I'm rude when I've been nothing but polite to them till this point. But it was so difficult, I actually began to feel physically sick. So I ended up getting horribly mistreated. And my time was forever wasted.
Devlins10 Сарын өмнө
Morning Joe is a complete joke. Would you expect anything else?
Waking Up To Life
Waking Up To Life Сарын өмнө
The world is abundant, you can always find a new job, friend, partner etc that makes you just as happy! So don't settle, value yourself highly.
More positivity
More positivity Сарын өмнө
Is Charisma University only for guys or can it apply to feminine women also?
A Jones
A Jones Сарын өмнө
Great now I Have to binge the ENTIRE channel. Well done... hello youtube insomnia my old friend....
Richard Rich
Richard Rich Сарын өмнө
When he showed that will Smith slapping the guy clip at 2:48 😂😂
Elgun Hemzeyev
Elgun Hemzeyev Сарын өмнө
Step one: Discombabulate!!!
Joshua Brown
Joshua Brown Сарын өмнө
When are we gonna get a video breaking down the Kanye/Matt Lauer video?
Mitch The king
Mitch The king Сарын өмнө
What about a workplace
Dillon Lorenzen
Dillon Lorenzen Сарын өмнө
you've described passive-aggressiveness very well in your videos with whom ever it may be that you are encountering and how to say calm in those situations while maintaining confidence but, how does one deal with for example a boss or a person with power over you who is very passive-aggressive whom uses double standards with every situation..yes you could look threw the BS of said double standards and or his or her passive-aggressiveness and try to rationally talk threw with said person you end up being the one thats labeled the one in the wrong when you know your not.. how does one deal with a situation like that. could you do a video on double standard manipulation
Brett M
Brett M Сарын өмнө
Just by being a very social person I have amazing charisma. This channel is great and underrated. A lot of people need to watch these vids and be less boring lmao. Tryna spice up some things at work and people r mad for no reason LOL.
Artashes Vardanyan
Artashes Vardanyan Сарын өмнө
Guys while watching this video (or similar informative and insightful) what is the one thing you would like to do here in youtube but you cannot?
Matej Matyáš Mikloš, The Vegan God Of Water
Matej Matyáš Mikloš, The Vegan God Of Water 2 сарын өмнө
Be1smaht 2 сарын өмнө
Love the last msg
Be1smaht 2 сарын өмнө
If someone is being rude you should say " you're being very rude" watch them work on it.
Careless Dreamer
Careless Dreamer 2 сарын өмнө
what if you're walking around in a store or something and someone says something that you don't appreciate but they're not looking at you cause you're walking, how do you nonverbally warn them to stop if they aren't looking at your eyes and you don't want to cause a scene in public?
I am
I am 2 сарын өмнө
N: Non-verbal, warn them to stop I: Indirect-verbal, warn them what this is about C: Call them out, tell them the consequences E: Exit out/Walk away from them S: Strength E: Energy E: Esteem R: Respect
902 Beats
902 Beats 2 сарын өмнө
James Vella
James Vella 2 сарын өмнө
This channel was great until the charisma university ads came along. If you want to give people useful advice thats great but if your product is good you dont need to promote it on your youtube - others will do that for you. Like all self help books and advertisements, its useless to those who dont participate professionally in the field, so thanks but unsubscribed, down-vote. Hope in future I see an improvement, we all have had enough of ads and we dont need things we didnt ask for.
James Vella
James Vella 16 өдрийн өмнө
@Kenneth Lewis It is what it is my man, good luck to you either way I whole heartedly support your future success and your hard work. Its just my opinion on advertisements. all the best.
Kenneth Lewis
Kenneth Lewis 16 өдрийн өмнө
Oh wow, you unsubscribed AND downvoted!? You’re one of the less than 1% of people who downvoted this video? I love entitled comments like these lol
S. V
S. V 2 сарын өмнө
You basicly made the same bideo as before
Edgematic 2 сарын өмнө
I was treated very poorly for years by a group of friends. A few weeks ago I left them for a fresh start. I don't like burning bridges but I couldn't be bothered to waste time to fix my reputation on people that never respected me. I won't apologise for being myself.
Komenco kaj Instigo
Komenco kaj Instigo 2 сарын өмнө
I feel a little grief, but I have to face those with no fear. Thank you Charisma on Command. This is a good advice. 😄🖐 I am your new subscriber by the way. 😄🖐
sridhar vaishnava
sridhar vaishnava 2 сарын өмнө
Please make a video on Cate Blanchett
EricB John
EricB John 2 сарын өмнө
Doesn’t work with managers. Make a vid on that. Otherwise these methods do have some value.
Afiya J
Afiya J 2 сарын өмнө
Charlie (and Ben), I never comment on YT videos but I just wanted to say two things, one, in a world of pick up artists and misogynists looking to make a buck off the insecurities of young impressionable men, thank you for teaching our young men to value character and sincerity over all else. the lessons that you teach is invaluable and i hope you know that. we need more men like you in the world. two, i have been watching your channel for years and i rarely see breakdowns of female characters / public figures. now, I understand why you primarily do breakdowns of males given your gender and i assume your audiences’ as well, but featuring more see more female faces on this channel would be beneficial to the growth of this channel. now, whether it’s you guys doing the breakdown or another (female) face is your call but i would love to see more of that. not to mention, even from a business POV i think you guys can breakthrough a far wider audience with this move especially concidering you are one of the few channels of this sort that don’t turn off women bc of the pick up artisty vibe. regards, - a member of your female audience
Nick Thorp
Nick Thorp 2 сарын өмнө
Is the interviewer the same who totally screwed HRH Princess Diana?
MyHovercraftIsFullOfEels 2 сарын өмнө
Found this channel on recommendations. The video was from 5 years ago. Still, your talking is far louder then the people you use as an example, better than 5 years ago, but still a marked difference. The difference in volume makes it hard to watch your videos, you have to adjust the volume constantly. Apart from that, the videos are great.
Gabe Frias
Gabe Frias 2 сарын өмнө
Can you do a video on Benny Colon from Bull?
Jamie Woodhouse
Jamie Woodhouse 2 сарын өмнө
RDJ should have replied, “you don’t want to pry, what do you mean by that?” .... and just not shifted off that topic.
sridhar vaishnava
sridhar vaishnava 2 сарын өмнө
Please make a video on Cate Blanchett
Rojas D
Rojas D 2 сарын өмнө
Can you talk about Frank Underwood? He's a very interesting character, and personally I believe there is a great deal of things about him you could analyze
Ishmael Dixon
Ishmael Dixon 2 сарын өмнө
Your videos don't pop up on my home page any more,
Sabhiuddin jazeb
Sabhiuddin jazeb 2 сарын өмнө
I cant believe that these guys did not make a video on jhonny depp
- niaomi winter -
- niaomi winter - 2 сарын өмнө
my dad: **getting furious in the car with my mom to the point of screaming** me: sooooo, how about that trampoline i saw in the movie
Wispy T
Wispy T 2 сарын өмнө
This was sadly relatable.
Ben Erdelyi
Ben Erdelyi 2 сарын өмнө
Love these Iron Man breakdowns
Username ETC.
Username ETC. 2 сарын өмнө
That dude interviewing RDJ did that same thing to Tarantino about the violence in his movies. Dude goes into a press junket interview for a movie and acts like he's doing 60 Minutes and wants to get some deep introspective interview on people. Instead, he just comes across as a douche.
EagleT Vlogs
EagleT Vlogs 3 сарын өмнө
glossy winter
glossy winter 3 сарын өмнө
I wanted to request a video, can u make one on BTS's Jimin? I'm saying this from a non-fan presective but honestly he's one of the most likeable ppl I've seen and ppl around him usually tend to love him fan or not he just has this effect on ppl I'd like u to make a video on him
MasterTalk 3 сарын өмнө
Interesting perspective Glossy; thanks for sharing this video suggestion, I love BTS!
PRINCE_LC 3 сарын өмнө
Please breakdown the Tyson interview when promoting on live tv with the mayor.
MasterTalk 3 сарын өмнө
That's a cool suggestion Prince, thanks for sharing this with us!
Rod Katsumata Confidence Coach
Rod Katsumata Confidence Coach 3 сарын өмнө
Well explained method. Makes sense. Setting boundaries is important to develop self-confidence and self-esteem. And you can't go too far in your journey of self-development if you can tell people where the limits are. I saw this interview with Robert Downey JR before, and he knows who he is, what is up to, and how to manage the situation well. It's not without reason he plays the Iron Man really well.
Lisa Simpson
Lisa Simpson 3 сарын өмнө
Oh wow I've been doing it all wrong, apparently though I have no desire to change hahaha. When dragged into conflict, I tend to brazenly insult the one unfortunate enough to engage me in conflict. For example, when my husband's sister tried to convince him not to go after custody of his daughter because he's made mistakes in the past, I interjected and asked if she should not be allowed to live with her mom because of HER past mistakes (and said some of them out loud)...and incidentally because it was over the phone, it caused their mom to expose herself as being present in the room for the conversation after his sister said previously that she wasn't there. It was not appreciated and I do believe it made them not want to have that conversation with him ever again.
Lisa Simpson
Lisa Simpson 3 сарын өмнө
@MasterTalk Well I'm touched by how nice your comment is. I admit I'm a bit jealous at how masterfully Jon Stewart handles the opposition when he argues but I'm definitely touchy when it comes to defending my stance especially when it comes to those I love.
MasterTalk 3 сарын өмнө
Such a beautiful and thoughtful comment Lisa, thanks for sharing with us. I appreciate your openness to discuss, thanks for what you do for others.
tdrx y28z
tdrx y28z 3 сарын өмнө
that scrawny voice in the beggining of the video(can t go past 2 sec) which i assume is the author' certainly inspires a lot of safety and security and confrontational decisiviness haha i bet the testosterone is running through his glasses and online courses about "confidence" "how to be an alpha" "how to be attractive" etc etc
Lucendo 3 сарын өмнө
Yeah but this certainly doesn't work when people definitely will make fun of you if you call them out or exit.
canary 002
canary 002 3 сарын өмнө
Do it back suitability wach em loose it.
Jacob Mcjunkin
Jacob Mcjunkin 3 сарын өмнө
squa-squa the dragon
squa-squa the dragon 3 сарын өмнө
Who else is watching this before a family reunion a show oh hands ✋
Dr Alex Vasquez ICHNFM
Dr Alex Vasquez ICHNFM 3 сарын өмнө
Dethos 3 сарын өмнө
Leer, Scary Face... Hm
AYUSH KUMAR 3 сарын өмнө
You should make video on Indiana Jones.
Maria Mendes
Maria Mendes 3 сарын өмнө
You should do one on the queens gambit, it would be awesomeee
Emmett Burns
Emmett Burns 3 сарын өмнө
Can we get an analysis of Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series?
Pedophile 3 сарын өмнө
Thanks, I need this for dealing with trolls in the MNpost comment section.
Shreenath Gauda
Shreenath Gauda 3 сарын өмнө
SSJAlpha 3 сарын өмнө
If you need a video on how to stand up for yourself then you are a certified beta male.
DerMenschIstWeilEsGlaubtDassEsIst 3 сарын өмнө
i cant stand up for myself, my mommy comes and defends me in conflicts like a good mommy
cartoonclimax 3 сарын өмнө
Some situations call for the N.I.C.E. method, others call for a smack to face. It will depend on the situation.
lilmil 3 сарын өмнө
THIS DUDES COURSE IS FAKE. HE HAD ONE BEFORE BUT IT WAS A SCAN SO HE MADE A NEW ONE ALSO HE’S A MISOGYNIST!!! seriously though how do people not know this or do they not care......?
Fire Pitch
Fire Pitch 3 сарын өмнө
Why is he a mysoginist bud? Everyone is accused of being something these days
InkBytes 3 сарын өмнө
Love your content! 🤍
cameron ward
cameron ward 3 сарын өмнө
Could you do Tom Hardy please?
Epstein Didntkillhimself
Epstein Didntkillhimself 3 сарын өмнө
Punching people works too.
Nikolay Belorusov
Nikolay Belorusov 3 сарын өмнө
great vid
Nikolay Belorusov
Nikolay Belorusov 3 сарын өмнө
sometimes conflict is so much in your face simply ignoring the issue becomes impossible
Pavel Shirochkin
Pavel Shirochkin 3 сарын өмнө
I wish you could do some videos on “Ted Lasso” tv show. I think it is one of the best tv shows recently that explores themes of leadership and communication in workplace and life in general. Thanks for you work!
Hobbes120 3 сарын өмнө
I've been watching so many of these, feeling like I'm learning to be a normal person, but quarantine doesn't let me use what I learned from these videos.
Johannes Dolch
Johannes Dolch 3 сарын өмнө
Great Video. Could you link the Downey Video? (This whole interview seems like a "what not to do if you want to make friends")
Will Sr
Will Sr 3 сарын өмнө
I think he did come off as a bit of a jerk.
Fire Pitch
Fire Pitch 3 сарын өмнө
Saimah Patel
Saimah Patel 3 сарын өмнө
To be fair Robert had a right to exit this reporter was making him feel really uncomfortable and was asking about a time in his life he deeply regrets
Andrew Christianson
Andrew Christianson 3 сарын өмнө
Yep best to pay attention to the one you're speaking to ;)
Tayvex 3 сарын өмнө
Hey I know its odd but you should do a video on Corpse Husband and how he just seems to get everyone to simp for him lol
Methuselah Eisner
Methuselah Eisner 3 сарын өмнө
I've been inspired to make a brand new channel about vibration, thought, religion and spirit. I think you might be interested in this.
Mention 3 сарын өмнө
How would you amend those tips to apply to today's pandemic situation, which makes us increasingly work from home? There are sometimes passive-aggressive behaviors and remarks from co-workers in online meetings, and also in chats. Unfortunately, it is impossible to use step *1. Nonverbally warn them to stop*. Should one just jump to step 2? Or maybe handle that in a whole different way? Suggestion: a video about how to communicate effectively in an online environment (not only about how to handle passive-aggressiveness online) would be much appreciated!
Wimpie Baars
Wimpie Baars 3 сарын өмнө
To me this just looks like answering passive aggressive behavior with passive aggressive behavior. Why not just say clearly what you want instead of giving small signs. It might make the conversation awkward for a second or two but after that you can just move on.
Flusker 3 сарын өмнө
3:18 Let's say the person being rude responds with "Oh, well why is that an odd question?" in a condescending way. What would you do then? If I had to guess, I would say you exit at that point, but I'm not sure.
Flusker 2 сарын өмнө
@NeedASparkB4Fire Thanks for the reply that makes a lot of sense!
NeedASparkB4Fire 3 сарын өмнө
That is definitely a strategy you can move to, another is to respond in some fashion like, "It's an odd questions because I'm not sure what you are getting at, what is the purpose of that question." The other person could be naïve or not have great social skills or understanding in different circumstances. Depends on how much "benefit of the doubt" you want to give. Giving them a chance to reason out their question is another way to approach it. I'd say both, and other ways, are acceptable from my view.
Lotschi 3 сарын өмнө
Did you know there is a German channel with nearly the same content than yours? I just want to make sure they don‘t copy your channel. It‘s named Charisma auf Kommando. I just wondered because it‘s a really small channel and you never link them and they never link you! I think it would be important that they see this, so like maybe or post the same thing than i did!
App App
App App 3 сарын өмнө
How would these rules be used in a situation that’s isn’t an interview
Midship Sport
Midship Sport 3 сарын өмнө
@ 2:46 A n*gga is a n*gga 😂🤣😂🤣
Makaveli ii
Makaveli ii 3 сарын өмнө
Can you please do a video on Ivar the Boneless from Vikings! He’s a very interesting charismatic character.
Tanuke 3 сарын өмнө
can we please see a breakdown on dr phil - i think the argument style he uses is so interesting - maybe you'd think the same?
LunaticReason 3 сарын өмнө
As an introvert with anxiety I really appreciate these types of videos. When I was younger I really had a hard time talking to women and I still do at times. It wasn't until I started reading up on the pua community and how to pick up women that I gained some confidence with some degree of success the down side of that it was manipulative and disingenuous and for every women I had a good response with I didn't fully feel like myself, I felt like a fraud. I feel that this channel doesn't teach that though but rather confidence within your own skin. In terms of being charismatic I feel like I am totally two different people and I don't know what it is that brings out Mr. Charisma and wish I knew how to do it more but often I'm Mr. Shy and withdrawn because deep down I have my insecurities. Anyways on similar topic standing up for myself is something that I need to learn more of. I've had situations where I would meet a girl and we'd hit it off in a very flirtatious way but it ends up a jealous boyfriend or someone interested in her comes by and undermines me by completely putting me down or simply trying to assert dominance. Sometimes my defense to that is to joke along and be self deprecating and act as if it doesn't bother me or try to turn things back on them but deep down it's hard not to regress to that shy awkward kid when someone makes fun of a trait that I am really sensitive about. It's like the jock kicking sand in your face.
OrcaBob 27
OrcaBob 27 3 сарын өмнө
Here goes MNpost. Telling us how to act again.
Duran Leau
Duran Leau 3 сарын өмнө
I find often times a Jerk is a person who picks the low hanging fruit and also has a hard time telling the truth in a more nicer way, and the one being offended gives validity to it, he or she probably already felt that way prior the insult, being an easy target, but that is not how we treat people! The truth hurts but rudness and bullying is uncomparable. We have all heard some truths in the insults thrown at us along the way... but it's rudness we cannot tolerate. There are more constructive ways at telling the truth or helping someone than simply insulting him or her....
Sudarshan Roy
Sudarshan Roy 3 сарын өмнө
I'll watch this movie only and only for sunil grover. .
mesuper 2
mesuper 2 3 сарын өмнө
Do a Chrisjen Avasarala video!!!
AngieBelle 3 сарын өмнө
Pleaseee do a breakdown on Julie Andrews
Naoum Ranim
Naoum Ranim 3 сарын өмнө
Can you please do an analysis of the way Brian Greene the theoretical physicist speaks / debates? He has a way with words and intonations 🔥❤️
rofllmao 3 сарын өмнө
Brian Neary
Brian Neary 3 сарын өмнө
I agree with the C and the E, the rest is pointless catering to the ego. If I am wrong in calling someone out, I apologize. I don't confuse an already bottom situation by hoping they understand my indirect communication when I know they will quickly understand my direct communication far quicker.
Mario franitco Patrom sonda
Mario franitco Patrom sonda 3 сарын өмнө
please archi from riverdale
Mario franitco Patrom sonda
Mario franitco Patrom sonda 3 сарын өмнө
please Archi in Riverdale
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