How To Stop Chasing Things That Make You Miserable

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Charisma on Command

Жилийн өмнө

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In this clip from The Charlie & Ben Podcast, the guys answer the question “How do I stop valuing things that make me unhappy?” Putting value in things such as money and prestige can be self sabotaging, but Charlie & Ben give their advice for changing your mindset and increasing your likelihood of happiness and success.

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Or if you want to see our personal stuff (regular life + playing music):
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Instagram: @IamBenAltman

Charisma on Command
Charisma on Command Жилийн өмнө
Hey Guys! I hope you enjoyed this clip from the podcast. I saw in the comments that you guys were wondering the book I was referencing, it's called "The Four Hour Workweek" by Tim Ferris. See you on Monday :-)
Rachel Lin
Rachel Lin Жилийн өмнө
I just finished it and it was life changing. I didn't know you guys read it!
Natan titelbaum
Natan titelbaum Жилийн өмнө
Charisma on Command do you have a twin brother?
JAGQ Жилийн өмнө
Unrelated to the video but i need to ask this. Charlie im on this situation and would like to get your advice, there is a girl that i see often at the bus stop, its been some months since she started waiting for it at this stop. I find her attractive but i dont know how to approach her, sometimes i think of just going to her and introducing myself and just asking if she would like to go for a coffee sometime. Am i wrong in wanting to approach that way?, please need your help, thanks.
moduslive Жилийн өмнө
Where’s the link for the video you mentioned that was called how to stop self sabotaging? I looked but can’t find it?
Pikachu Charizard
Pikachu Charizard Жилийн өмнө
Hello, I have a proposal and I think you would really like it, can you discuss about why many ppl love ariana grande? I think many would find it very interesting :)))
Just Some Guy with a Snaggletooth
Just Some Guy with a Snaggletooth 4 сарын өмнө
God i hope hes bi. *fans myself*
Jeremy Galloway
Jeremy Galloway 4 сарын өмнө
Chris King
Chris King 6 сарын өмнө
I'm so pumped that you have a pod cast! Can't wait to dig in
jsh0822 9 сарын өмнө
OMG i'm not quite a model, but I need attentiion. It must be rough looking like this guy....................................................
Winter Wolf's Lunar Affinity
Winter Wolf's Lunar Affinity 11 сарын өмнө
If you weigh everythings value and importance based on how they might make you unhappy in future you dont value what the positive things gained from the moment. And the reverse is true as well. It really doesn't matter if a cup is full, half full or completely empty (because a cup is refillable as long as you accept that every refill might not be favorable in all respects. But you can empty the cup and fill it again).
Amrita Hore
Amrita Hore Жилийн өмнө
Charlie you look very cute 😍 when you smile 😍 😊😊😊
Michael Moore
Michael Moore Жилийн өмнө
Damn! I thought these guys were pretty good but then my boy nailed it with, “There’s a big difference between zero and one”!
Saul William
Saul William Жилийн өмнө
What book did you read?
Iquey Жилийн өмнө
I wouldn't mind some prestige if it can be monetized/used for brands sponsorships. That's the only reason I'd want it. Fame that doesn't pay is just extra stress!!!
Putang Pie1999
Putang Pie1999 Жилийн өмнө
My friend there are many things I could say about you. But the best thing I could say is thank you.Ever since I found out about your channel I am able to see things more clearly and from a different perspective. If you could find any spare time please create a video about Toxic Relationships. Keep up with all this great work
Imelda Pear
Imelda Pear Жилийн өмнө
I am so impressed you are talking about this. I avoided your You tube channel because I thought you'd be about the opposite. I just told a friend for my New Year's goal is I want to start living from my heart and she was like.. "huuuh?" So I told her never mind. I have no New years goals.
SellingDolly Жилийн өмнө
I misheard "If you want to debate with us" as "If you wanted to bake with us" xD
Himmat Chahal
Himmat Chahal Жилийн өмнө
I'm amazed at how much value your channel has provided me, and that you can still come up with awesome new content like this. You guys are modern geniuses, -- it's not easy to translate intuiton/instinct/experience into something teachable.
Sergio Alcantar
Sergio Alcantar Жилийн өмнө
We are number One. All others are number two, or lower. . . the Sphinx, "Mystery Men'
Miss Marz
Miss Marz Жилийн өмнө
For me it’s the opposite...I don’t value money or possessions but I’m forced to. I don’t want fame I just want to be. I feel trapped
Adam Costilla
Adam Costilla Жилийн өмнө
Step 1.) Read "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens...jk this is all great advise but classic literature can be helpful.
SevenDeMagnus Жилийн өмнө
Eric Stokely
Eric Stokely Жилийн өмнө
Barren maddening to check out the pod cast and this definitely seals the deal. You guys always plant an empowering seed in my mind
Шломо Изянов
Шломо Изянов Жилийн өмнө
I wanna see more like this, yes!
v4p0rw4v3 Жилийн өмнө
Dr Phil has said the only way to eliminate a habit is to replace it with an incompatible habit. Got any good examples, or maybe interest in creating content regarding this idea?
Aska Жилийн өмнө
I love the 0 and 1 way of looking at it. And the home base. That was really useful. Thank you! :D
E A Жилийн өмнө
The answer is hypnotherapy. They can cure this and other addictions such as smoking in 1-3 sessions. Extraordinarily powerful tool.
Paige Heartly
Paige Heartly Жилийн өмнө
You are so genuine! I love your advice
Der Dude mit dem Hut
Der Dude mit dem Hut Жилийн өмнө
Man your right sleeve in the podcast triggered me hard. What can I do about that? :D
Leo Жилийн өмнө
A deep desire to elevate your self worth at almost any cost. Lets call it what it really is. Ego driven self centered brat.
Tate Winter
Tate Winter Жилийн өмнө
he's talking about ayahuasca and he's got the same mics as Joe Rogan experience
KastaRules Жилийн өмнө
Easy, I have NO friends.
Flashy Victor
Flashy Victor Жилийн өмнө
loved it
Artie Rupinen
Artie Rupinen Жилийн өмнө
I will never indulge in the Nasuverse again!
Chase Potter
Chase Potter Жилийн өмнө
Okay well if we’re talking about what society thinks an alcoholic is, somebody who drinks regularly or just every weekend and doesn’t like to socialize on free time without getting a bit of a buzz on, then that’s me and a lot of people. But that’s different from the alcoholic that has a REAL problem. A person who can’t go a day without drinking. THOSE are the types that “shouldn’t hangout in bars”. For the regular “alcoholics” that I first defined, it’s not really an issue.... just sayin 🙂
Monkizaki Жилийн өмнө
Do Andrew Yang!
nihhah Жилийн өмнө
Great vid loved it
CabbageGamer Жилийн өмнө
Women make me miserable. But I need a woman D:
Tere Жилийн өмнө
I don't have Instagram, I don't need validation, I don't feel lonely when I am alone. Does that make me schizophrenic or does that make me mentally healthy?
Zach Scheerer
Zach Scheerer Жилийн өмнө
You should do a video on Greg Plitt. If you don’t know who he is... or was. You should.
Daniel Cendejas
Daniel Cendejas Жилийн өмнө
oh man I liked the video but there were many interruptions...
Veronica G
Veronica G Жилийн өмнө
This 30 yr old white boy helping me change my life for good
Aragorn Elessar
Aragorn Elessar Жилийн өмнө
Host talks about not valuing prestige; goes on to list all his prestigious accomplishments.
Giulyan Gonçalves
Giulyan Gonçalves Жилийн өмнө
David Carter
David Carter Жилийн өмнө
This was amazing. So real. Thanks
Miguel Maquiran
Miguel Maquiran Жилийн өмнө
what book did Ben read that helped him with prestige?
Nox Nekori
Nox Nekori Жилийн өмнө
Could you make a video on beauty standards and beauty obsession? I mean .. how to cope if you compare yourself to others contantly and are afraid of getting old/losing shape etc. You know, body confidence :)
You Know Who I Am
You Know Who I Am Жилийн өмнө
No, I refuse to stop making myself miserable because I deserve it
MD Sajedi
MD Sajedi Жилийн өмнө
OMG that's harry potter!
Larissa Carvalho
Larissa Carvalho Жилийн өмнө
what?? in brazil?? outrageous
Ethan Shaman
Ethan Shaman Жилийн өмнө
This isn't charisma
Cristina Жилийн өмнө
Great video, but I would like to add that having schizophrenia does not equate to being "crazy." Much love
Business Online 101
Business Online 101 Жилийн өмнө
*Wow this man has the longest eyebrows I've seen*
A N Жилийн өмнө
Wow, such a different, genuine impression from Ben. To be honest for the past couple of videos he made, I always had a fake vibe from him, like he was forcing himself to smile more than he is used to and/or be more enthusiastic. I was even distracted at times from the topic itself. But in this video he just seems so calm and sincere, kinda wish he would come back to film. Anyway guys, thanks for the great content as always and keep up the good work! :)
geralt rivia
geralt rivia Жилийн өмнө
thank you, just in the right time :)
Ras Жилийн өмнө
This whole channel profiteers off of incels and autists who have no social skills and try to pretend that they do by watching these vids.
5am Жилийн өмнө
Give us more!!!
Jerathai Жилийн өмнө
I want to know what book he read that he says changed his paradigm.
angerock49 Жилийн өмнө
Just a thing, volume was a bit low at max
Alfie Thomas
Alfie Thomas Жилийн өмнө
Hey. Love these clips. Would love to consume on a daily basis, but if I’m honest I like to just listen to audio over a video. Do you have your vids in audio format anywhere mate?
Bryce Ellis
Bryce Ellis Жилийн өмнө
Hey Charisma of Command, my favorite videos are when you break it with down movie characters ... Cristiano Ronaldo recently scored an interview with MNpostr, ChrisMD! xD I’ve recently an read article stating people speaking a foreign language are less likely to lie I think if CR7 is an interesting guy and I feel like your huge audience would enjoy a charisma on command break down of a world famous athlete! Cheers, belli. -ps, Bryce is nice
Leon Жилийн өмнө
i hope you do a video about cliff booth. that character is the true, man
Ariel Lasry
Ariel Lasry Жилийн өмнө
More podcast snippets on this channel would be welcomed!
Umair Raza
Umair Raza Жилийн өмнө
Any place to write to you directly!
Casey Жилийн өмнө
I am down for seeing more of the podcast!
MeatBallBoy23 Жилийн өмнө
I loves these podcasts, that's more content and any content from c on c is good content
Inge nious
Inge nious Жилийн өмнө
3:24 Home Improvement
Sagacious Eagle
Sagacious Eagle Жилийн өмнө
I don't think there's anything wrong with being prestige hungry. As long as you can achieve your set goals, all should be fine. Just note that if you're not competent or lucky enough, disappointment always lurks down the corner.
Myca Roxas
Myca Roxas Жилийн өмнө
Charlie you are my crush! lol
tatttoo101 Жилийн өмнө
Loved that you included the podcast section in the video! Very cool and relaxed way to share your message 😊
Javiera T
Javiera T Жилийн өмнө
Lay off the Jordan Peterson crap and you're good.
Anthony PC
Anthony PC Жилийн өмнө
This is great. I've been very open to a broad range of social groups, but it's time I rediscover a specific "home base tribe" for me
Peter Manger
Peter Manger Жилийн өмнө
I like the information, however dislike the looser format the conversational approach necessitates. The tighter format of a more produced piece is more informative for me.
Kawien Choi
Kawien Choi Жилийн өмнө
i should stop being so lazy, and stop using my phone so goddamn much
Sunset Жилийн өмнө
2:15 5 minutes of youtube and 0 minutes of youtube are very different things 1 piece of cake and 0 pieces of cakes are very different things.
Whimzy74 Жилийн өмнө
Jes smith732
Jes smith732 Жилийн өмнө
I agree with some of this, but I would not say that all the good things people post are for looking to get attention. Some people do it to inspire others or promote what worked for them
Nirrini Жилийн өмнө
This is totally off-topic but you really look like Connor / Bryan Dechart.
Dovar Жилийн өмнө
True and worthy change in Christ only.
KrinchiD Жилийн өмнө
I am so suicidal, I have been trying to find a friend that won't hurt me. I've been in therapy and on medication for over 15 years, and I still can't find a single person that is genuine. So should I give up and not bother wanting friends? Because wanting friends makes me miserable and being hurt by people that say they are my friends but don't really care about my well being makes me hurt even more. But a key part of life is feeling like you belong and having social interactions. So I feel stuck in a loop of misery. Suicide feels like my only safe place. I don't know how to break the cycle.
Eh. Okay :-\
Eh. Okay :-\ Жилийн өмнө
I love you guys, but I can’t BELIEVE you needed to make this video. People are so f-ing narcissistic that you actually need to make this, is so depressing.
MajorasMaskMailman Жилийн өмнө
Oh this is genius. Promoting here is a great idea.
Jamie Rain - Redflufflykins
Jamie Rain - Redflufflykins Жилийн өмнө
Do a video on Aurora! She's a musical artist/vocalist who has a ton of charisma and genuine spirit! Her interviews are so fun to watch and I think your audience would benefit from a video about her. :)
Louise butter
Louise butter Жилийн өмнө
Love your channel guys, but maybe try to change up your thumbnails, they all kinda look the same and I nearly skipped this one because I thought I already saw it...
Andrej The Freelancer
Andrej The Freelancer Жилийн өмнө
You guys are on your path, but need to do so much more to get a deeper understanding. It's not money or prestige or smth that makes you unhappy, it's 100% you. Take responsibility, and go deeper. Ask yourself "why" until you get to the bottom.
vitaly agalya
vitaly agalya Жилийн өмнө
You're just a snake oil salesman. I reached out to you a few months ago to ask if you could let me try your Charisma on Command Course for free. Given that I suffer from major depression, I'm out of work and with small kids, I could have used your help to improve my life. The thing is, I would have repaid you to the last cent. All I got from you was a cold "No." So, I'm sorry, You don't really care about people. You're just there to make some quick bucks. So stop pretending.
Radio Rain
Radio Rain Жилийн өмнө
Seeing Charlie interact with people really makes you realize how qualified he is to teach charisma!
Jack Emmons
Jack Emmons Жилийн өмнө
I guess Charlie is out of clickbait ideas. Looks like we're stuck with "STOP DOING THIS" 😂
Nelson Gast
Nelson Gast Жилийн өмнө
Hey Charlie, random question: Where do you get your t-shirts from? I have a similar build and I can never find t-shirts that fit as well as yours do.
Aid-BO Жилийн өмнө
how does he just talk for minutes at a time so effortlessly
Jeremy Galloway
Jeremy Galloway 4 сарын өмнө
He has a script
Şfk 9 сарын өмнө
He knows the stuff he's talking about...
Maddie McCrackin
Maddie McCrackin Жилийн өмнө
“to feel like they’re not schizophrenic and crazy” 😪
Valerie Vedette
Valerie Vedette Жилийн өмнө
The guy kept interrupting you dude.
Jake n' Ado
Jake n' Ado Жилийн өмнө
You look like professor X in the thumbnail
micooms Жилийн өмнө
This felt like ‘True self on command’. Some profound remarks were made that hit home. Good one!
LuckyCat Жилийн өмнө
If you stop desiring ALL things you will free yourself to be.
Frank Sanchez
Frank Sanchez Жилийн өмнө
why is prestige so bad? many extremely successful people can stay true to themselves and have prestigious status and fulfilling jobs. also, using social media to connect with others and find like minded people can be extremely useful. many of the people they do videos on have become successful by building their platform and brand on social media. i love their advice, but i feel like they are way too hard on things perceived as validation seeking like prestige and social media. true, validation seeking and social media can become an unhealthy addiction, but it doesn't have to be. there should be a balance rather than cutting it all out.
Real Life Counseling - Michael Zone, LCSW, MEd, JD
Real Life Counseling - Michael Zone, LCSW, MEd, JD Жилийн өмнө
So, great advice but the solution is always the same. Change your mindset. These videos are great for giving people specific skills that they may not have, but it always comes down to mindset. If you constantly think negative and self-defeating thoughts, you will always fail to maximize your potential. Cognitive-behavior therapy teaches people how to change their thoughts ad behaviors to increase well-being no matter what the issue. If you try to solve problems issue by issue it will take you forever. the more elegant solution is to deeply change your mindset and this will help you deal with almost any situation. Sabotaging yourself? - change your mindset. Chasing after things that hurt you? - change your mindset. Trouble finding a good relationship? - change your mindset. Not happy in your career? - change your mindset. Need specific skills? Read books or watch these type of videos. Want change that crosses all areas of life? Use cognitive-behavioral techniques.
Giddy Digs
Giddy Digs Жилийн өмнө
6:39 What Exercises?
John Ta
John Ta Жилийн өмнө
prestige = codependency = seeking the opinions of others for how you should feel.
busaj383 Жилийн өмнө
Been watching for a while, seems like good info... still waiting to care enough to do something about it 🤔 Keep doing what u do 🙌
Ričards Zaļmežs
Ričards Zaļmežs Жилийн өмнө
I really like this podcast type of format!
PsYcOd Жилийн өмнө
How do you do the same for love/ false feelings.
Ebby C
Ebby C Жилийн өмнө
I think the ultimate cure is to stop associating being miserable with pleasure. We naturally move towards pleasure and move away from pain. So if you associate misery with pleasure, you will move towards misery. You have to teach your brain to not feel pleasure at the thing that makes you miserable and replace it what you know will give you pleasure eventually. The act of replacing will, eventually, stop the chasing.
sarepaar Жилийн өмнө
I sometimes wonder why i am subscribed to this channel because usually im not into the self help, empowerment sort of stuff. But then i watch a video and i remember that you actually have very good insights. So thanks! Great stuff!
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