How To Win An Argument Without Making Enemies

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Charisma on Command

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Sometimes arguments can get heated and spiral out of control. So while we all want to win an argument, not making an enemy in the process can be even more important.

Which is why today we’ll be looking at Trevor Noah and what you can learn from him about coming out of verbal scruffs not only on top, but looking cool calm and collected.


0:28 - #1: Sub-communicate that you're not there for a fight.
3:46 - #2: Ask questions instead of making statements.
6:39 - #3: Confidently defend yourself without coming across as antagonistic.

#TrevorNoah #CharismaOnCommand

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MrUnlimitedTorque 15 цагийн өмнө
Trevor Noah is a pro at just using technique and no substance. Which means he's going to be likeable in argument without ever bringing up any facts or actual knowledge. Impressive.
Thulani Mbuthuma
Thulani Mbuthuma 18 цагийн өмнө
People need 2 first learn the art of listening.
Nana Per
Nana Per 20 цагийн өмнө
"Take a deep breath as you are about to speak", and we see the worst Star Wars character *ever* ... I took a deep breath... Freak, they ruined SW...
Tshepang Mokoena
Tshepang Mokoena Өдрийн өмнө
I disagree with the Trevor Noah analysis, the snippets only show tomi being aggressive but omit all the instances where trevor interrupts and make jokes at his opponent's expense. He also has a habbit of bringing up a point that makes his opponent look bad and then changing subjects immediately after. I watched the entire interview with him and tomi and got a totally different impression. He didn't seem at all genuine and seemed to be more concerned with making his opponent look bad than really debate. That's my opinion at least.
Jeff Spicoli
Jeff Spicoli Өдрийн өмнө
I do agree with people almost never being evil but a certain diabolical narcissism has become pervasive today that can be perceived as maybe JV evil. Social medias such as twitter and facebook have reinforced a false persona for an astonishingly large amount of people.
Jeff Spicoli
Jeff Spicoli Өдрийн өмнө
If only my own family could learn these principles of good and productive behavior. Dreading going home for xmas. haha
Ali Ossaily
Ali Ossaily Өдрийн өмнө
The shampoo bottles in my shower are gonna be so impressed!
Janne Peltonen
Janne Peltonen Өдрийн өмнө
To all the comments about encounters where techniques like these don't work: those are valid points, but at the same time, not the majority of interactions. People are almost never evil. And another thing about people? They tend to respond to the way they're treated.
Alex Hamilton
Alex Hamilton Өдрийн өмнө
Sadly the people who need to hear this the most will probably never watch it
Kalesh Mahendrakar
Kalesh Mahendrakar 2 өдрийн өмнө
Good video! Just correct the spelling of ‘Deminish’ to ‘Diminish’.
Jayanth Kumar
Jayanth Kumar 2 өдрийн өмнө
The v-necks on this guy is such an eyesore. He should wear crew necks.
He Who Must Not Be Named
He Who Must Not Be Named 2 өдрийн өмнө
My grandmother figure (not biological or adopted, just fulfills the societal portrayal of the grandmother) once told me that she saw some of Trevor's stuff when he was still performing at small scale shows. She said that she could tell than that she was going to become a national icon. Not sure if she knew that he would move out the country, spread his influence and be this good at debates. Remember that this man was just a comedian. I love his intelligence and humour.
ISRAEL GUERRERO 2 өдрийн өмнө
Harshita • S
Harshita • S Өдрийн өмнө
From what I can understand, it's an environment in which you only encounter people with similar ideas and beliefs like yours, instead of having people with opposite ideas and beliefs.
Robert Leonard
Robert Leonard 3 өдрийн өмнө
The only way to win an argument is not to argue according to Dale Carnegie.
InternetDork101 3 өдрийн өмнө
I do this and it definitely works. The other perosn either looks really aggressive and someone else comes to diffuse the situation or they relate they are getting carried away and they simmer down
Space Ventura
Space Ventura 3 өдрийн өмнө
Trevor Noah? Trevor Noah is your example of someone that argues well? Are you high?
Devin Pool
Devin Pool 4 өдрийн өмнө
In other words, be honest, humble, and loving. Broad and oversimplified, I know, but directionally correct, right? I mean, if we are genuinely interested in others, without judgment or any desperation to be right and holding a logical confidence in our view we should win any debate; or otherwise leave with stronger convictions of a new viewpoint.
vestborgelev 4 өдрийн өмнө
"The goal is not to be right, but to get it right." Amen! This video was spot on. Very inspiring and true. Keep up the good work, Charisma on demand.
Ezgi aksakal;
Ezgi aksakal; 4 өдрийн өмнө
@CharismaonCommand I can translate it into Turkish. Love it!
Juai nott?
Juai nott? 4 өдрийн өмнө
Pathetic when you act all emotional during an argument. Only beta people cant control their emotions.
Laura Kobetich
Laura Kobetich 5 өдрийн өмнө
This is so important, especially now where there is so much political division. I’m a dem who has recently become reacquainted with old friends who are trump supporters. I actually love the discourse between myself and people with opposing views, and these techniques will certainly help to diffuse arguments when they become heated. Thank you!
Spruce_Goose 5 өдрийн өмнө
but nowhere along the way should you change your mind. ;}
Spruce_Goose 5 өдрийн өмнө
actually I've changed my mind
jmiogo 6 өдрийн өмнө
Trevors not a good example to use
Scott Harrison
Scott Harrison 6 өдрийн өмнө
Jordan Peterson is far better at winning arguments than Trevor Noah purely on the basis of picking one's battles.
Julia 6 өдрийн өмнө
Uhhhh Trevor Noah is a brainless and brainwashed human being who has no valid arguments in anything. He’s simply a patronising parrot who says the right sound bites.
Son Goku
Son Goku 6 өдрийн өмнө
4. Don't be funny.
Ancient Ruins
Ancient Ruins 7 өдрийн өмнө
Thanks for making me a better communicator.
Dan Obrien
Dan Obrien 7 өдрийн өмнө
Trevor is outstanding at discussion but i disagree with him on virtually everything
James Hoadley
James Hoadley 8 өдрийн өмнө
10:17 - Diminish, not deminish.
Ainul Fadlan
Ainul Fadlan 8 өдрийн өмнө
But no one know what sound at 6:26? And maybe you can hear only with headphones
TIMSHKY 8 өдрийн өмнө
Too bad everything that comes out of his mouth is dogshit
Lebohang Machaba
Lebohang Machaba 8 өдрийн өмнө
Are you not gonna mention the power of his dimples ?
Christopher DANIEL
Christopher DANIEL 8 өдрийн өмнө
Trevor is mot fighting nut is a master of racial propaganda, which is dangerous
Habesha Atheist
Habesha Atheist 9 өдрийн өмнө
Holidays are right around the corner so u best believe I’m taking notes. Ps5 is on the line 🙏🏾
urban culture
urban culture 9 өдрийн өмнө
Dub in hindi
kasuku mcheshi
kasuku mcheshi 9 өдрийн өмнө
I like your videos🎥👌👌👍👍
Blassom Empress
Blassom Empress 9 өдрийн өмнө
... Lol every time I argue feel wrong but I can't explain
roger narwen
roger narwen 9 өдрийн өмнө
I wanna see Trevor debate Ben Shapiro
Keith Dang
Keith Dang 10 өдрийн өмнө
Unfortunately, Trevor flipped pages
Afolabi Taiwo
Afolabi Taiwo 10 өдрийн өмнө
Thank you so much. I realised a lot about how I handle arguements.
420 11 өдрийн өмнө
Trevor sux
Steven Kamashi
Steven Kamashi 12 өдрийн өмнө
R u still looking for a German dubber of your Podcasts?
steveshuffle 12 өдрийн өмнө
Be more like Trevor. Never be like Shapiro :)
Obsidian Nebula
Obsidian Nebula 13 өдрийн өмнө
Is it weird that all of those come to me completely natural and I've been using them since forever ?
hating kills
hating kills 13 өдрийн өмнө
the america i won, lets make america great agen
Milantique Studios
Milantique Studios 13 өдрийн өмнө
You think Trevor Noah doesn’t make enemies with his arguments? The dude is a moron with everything he says.
Russ Godinho
Russ Godinho 13 өдрийн өмнө
Trevor Noah's a sack of sh/t sellout to the Elites... Good example moron.
kevin kibet
kevin kibet 13 өдрийн өмнө
Sure youtube recommend this 3 years from the actual.
Kaku Arora
Kaku Arora 14 өдрийн өмнө
Very informative video,I will be watching it over n over, thanks for post
abdelrahman al hatto
abdelrahman al hatto 14 өдрийн өмнө
Try this with flat earthers
yax shah
yax shah 15 өдрийн өмнө
10:50 onwords🔥🔥
Bosa Metseeme
Bosa Metseeme 15 өдрийн өмнө
This guy is really detailed in the way he explains every thing
raiyan reza
raiyan reza 16 өдрийн өмнө
so in the intro with Ben, what were the implications?
Kkri 16 өдрийн өмнө
No this is not a good argument. Not everything is an echo chamber. If you look at real honest intellectuals they constantly expose themselves to different opinions and arguments. Look at the Atheist Experience for example. They majority or their callers are theists l
Rajir Ray Williams
Rajir Ray Williams 16 өдрийн өмнө
My "yes and" is: "exactly, but"
Christian Mantala
Christian Mantala 17 өдрийн өмнө
I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes the next president. We need more men with class like Trevor.
K.S. P395
K.S. P395 17 өдрийн өмнө
I wonder if this got more views before or after the election results?
Crazy_Lew 90
Crazy_Lew 90 18 өдрийн өмнө
My psychology tutor use to say An academic argument is based on the subject and not the person. An argument is a heated exchange between said people. -Both can be used recieved and dished out-
Bob 18 өдрийн өмнө
Noah is a bell-end. Tomi ,well, is Tomi.
Pankaj Madwan
Pankaj Madwan 19 өдрийн өмнө
As people get more frustrated, they have a tendency to raise their voices and talk faster. - Ben Altman
Sidra Kamal
Sidra Kamal 19 өдрийн өмнө
Softly and slowly, crack a joke, ask genuine questions, repeat their beliefs in a genuine way ask questions that probe for inconsistencies
Sidra Kamal
Sidra Kamal 19 өдрийн өмнө
See something that you relate to, the job of an argument isn’t to be right but to get it right
Noah E
Noah E 19 өдрийн өмнө
I despise Trevor Noah, but he is great at arguing
Sadvika Sumarsono
Sadvika Sumarsono 20 өдрийн өмнө
Still can beat mbak Nana Indonesian journalis in debate, she is way more better than Trevor Noah
TJ Sherpa
TJ Sherpa 21 өдрийн өмнө
Think a better example here is Jordan Peterson. Trevor’s a show host so it’s more planned
David jordan
David jordan 22 өдрийн өмнө
Did y’all vote?
e g
e g 22 өдрийн өмнө
Using an angle of "attempting to understand" in your questions, facial expression, and body language can go a long way in disarming whomever you are arguing with
Dennis Tshifhumulo
Dennis Tshifhumulo 22 өдрийн өмнө
Everybody is chocolate 🍫
Joe Joe
Joe Joe 24 өдрийн өмнө
So that is why I agree with NOTHING this guy says but I somehow still like him.
Omar Kansoh
Omar Kansoh 24 өдрийн өмнө
Not try a flex but I did most of these things already but I did also get into arguments with ppl that have similar viewd on a number of things do it came to me naturally, I have also noticed that most of the "smart" people at my school would get heated in an argument (not with me but with other ppl) Like if you have had the same experiences in any od the above jut Wanna know
Keerthana_ Nightingale
Keerthana_ Nightingale 25 өдрийн өмнө
Some people doesn't like to be questioned .. they think we get details what u think about that
Anselm Gademann
Anselm Gademann 25 өдрийн өмнө
Who else is researching for the next time they argue with your parents you? Also who else wants to be able to cracks joke like Trevor, but just can‘t
Brian Murphy
Brian Murphy 25 өдрийн өмнө
Weird! Everything about Trevor pisses me and everyone I’ve ever met off. He comes off as a pompous sniveling child. Absolute dislike this guy.
Amelia Freund
Amelia Freund 26 өдрийн өмнө
Perhaps this is a culture thing... but as a South African who has watched Trevor Noah for many years I can hear how disingenuous and condescending he sounds in these clips. He is not trying to diffuse the situation, he is just trying to make the other person look inferior.... he plays a lot on words but is actually spinning half truths to make himself look superior and apparently based on this video and the comments below it works...
Amelia Freund
Amelia Freund 26 өдрийн өмнө
And to add... perhaps listen how he speaks with people he agrees with vs those he does not to understand the difference in tone
Maheshg KIPL
Maheshg KIPL 27 өдрийн өмнө
i like method what buddha taught in an ancient
QA QA 27 өдрийн өмнө
"People's egos get caught up with their argument."
hoody hoo
hoody hoo 27 өдрийн өмнө
I can’t be the only one who sees how weak and lame Trevor is
Pe2-Rock 29 өдрийн өмнө
The best way to win an argument is to avoid it. Enough.
Retro-Matic Gamer
Retro-Matic Gamer Сарын өмнө
This piece did not age well. Lately, Trevor Noah just gets worse and worse every time he opens his mouth. Maybe he'll go back to normal when the election's over, but I won't bet on it.
Reiko NIGHTCORE Сарын өмнө
i watch your videos to become a better human
Shapes Сарын өмнө
Bruh, Trevor is a massive douche bag. Should have used a different person to use as an example.
Abe Bueno de Mesquita
Abe Bueno de Mesquita Сарын өмнө
my pe teacher assigning us to watch this video and me using it to get out of other assignments
Elia Salamanca
Elia Salamanca Сарын өмнө
I love love love Trevor Noah he really carries himself with such poise and intelligence.
Atharva Jadhav
Atharva Jadhav Сарын өмнө
Let's start a debate
Atharva Jadhav
Atharva Jadhav Сарын өмнө
The Office Shop
The Office Shop Сарын өмнө
Trevor Noah is a bad example. Being snarky and condescending while saying nothing is not winning an argument.
Leila-Leader Nambinga-Leader
Leila-Leader Nambinga-Leader Сарын өмнө
Purple eyes for Jehovah and Hades ya!😃😀👑😃
Checks Cache
Checks Cache Сарын өмнө
When Khaled Popped Up!!!!
stevenstrumpf7 Сарын өмнө
Law 9, win though your accomplishments, never though argument. Yes, now the nose looks JuST rIhGt.
No Chips Only Crisps
No Chips Only Crisps Сарын өмнө
Noah is not funny but yeah his trick works good.
Andrew Fitzgerald
Andrew Fitzgerald Сарын өмнө
Thanksgiving's coming up, I've gotta be prepared...
comedyfish Сарын өмнө
I actually don't like trevor - I can't remember why - it's something to do with something he said about the french rugby world cup winning team that rubbed me the wrong way - also another thing is past videos touch on eye contact - trevor seems to say things without looking at the person hes speaking to a lot of the time (not always, to be clear) - take home: i guess no on is perfect but still its interesting how these videos cherry pick different things to be important to achieve their narrative. I mean fair enough - they are selling a service here its not altruistic .
comedyfish Сарын өмнө
interesting video especially after watching the one about trump. So here's a question - who are you arguing with? someone you like or someone you don't care if you make an enemy. Trump in your video was seen as winning BECAUSE he didn't care about making enemies. So who is his video for - interviewers? I'm not going to argue with my friends in this way - or the trump way. Maybe people online? I guess
Zita Desales
Zita Desales Сарын өмнө
I searched this up cause my sister keeps roasting me
T Patterson
T Patterson Сарын өмнө
Basically Trevor is right everyone else wrong if the don't agree with him, Typical lefty
purpledrnk Сарын өмнө
Damnn he lookss soo much like the weeknd
Dvorah Q
Dvorah Q Сарын өмнө
Thanks so much. My comms with my sister may improve as I find better ways of getting answers when asking her for examples of her anger and criticisms towards me. 😆
Maria Garcia
Maria Garcia Сарын өмнө
Democrats need Trevor to lead them in debates, why don't they really know this.
Applicable Apple
Applicable Apple Сарын өмнө
I will now yesify everyone
Skye Seaborn
Skye Seaborn Сарын өмнө
Love these!
Suatt38 Сарын өмнө
I'm just a bad speaker in general...
Rachel Rasmussen
Rachel Rasmussen Сарын өмнө
I really love "you don't need to be right, you need to get it right"
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